The pursuit of beauty has been known to go where no man has gone before. Easily crossing thresholds of rational thought and logic. Sometimes, these journeys have met with great measures of success, and at other times, with immense bewilderment and jaws agape. Certainly, though, all have captivated and held our attention.
Here, I highlight those which, to me, represent the epitome of cray cray.
(1) The hairy armpit.
Why, oh why. I first saw a woman with thick bushes there in 2008, back in my hometown of Kuching. She was from China, Beijing to be precise, and after striking up a conversation with her, I discovered that the province from whence she hailed, found the notion of underarm hair, incredibly sexy. Fast forward to 2014, to the hairy armpit selfie movement growing ever stronger in the mainland. Where women post pictures of their fuzzy (often dyed) underarms across social media platforms to support their rights to shave (or not), propagating the concept that women need not be hairless to feel confident and beautiful. I am in complete agreement with the latter thought but, along with the vast majority of female netizens, I shave not because I am forced to or because societal perceptions dictate that I should. No, I shave because I feel gross and icky if I don’t, and, for me, rashes are a nasty, pesky, inevitable consequence of cultivating hairy pits.
(2) Clown Contouring
Otherwise known as face-mapping or, simply put, crazy contouring Kardashian style. I’m all for shading and highlighting in the name of etching a defined jawline, or a prominent cheekbone, but don’t you agree with me that this has just gone much too far? How did contouring go from subtle and barely there to in-your-face-sharp planes and angles? How did it go from pretty to pretty scary in three Kimmy Cake seconds flat? Granted we all want to be look Instagram-ready at every opportunity (#selfiemuch) but see, contouring is all about giving shape to an area of the face and enhancing the facial structure through make-up. It isn’t meant to be apparent. No, merely a slight definition. In other words, this is not the time to go dipping your blush brush into some bronzer and adding a brown stripe under your cheeks. It’s all about the artistry, and illusion! Honestly, what’s going to happen when she takes all that junk off before going to bed?
(3) Fake, Temporary Freckles
So this one isn’t your run-of-the-mill cray cray, more of a “huh” and leaving one somewhat stumped. I mean, after years of being told that my freckles were “imperfections” and that I ought to apply concealer generously on those unsightly dots, suddenly they’re all the rage. Suddenly everyone wants them. Suddenly they’re called “cute little beauty marks”.
And there are others.
Lip plumping a la Kylie.
Frozen to perfection.
Crazy ass hair burning.