Yes, what about love?
A heady rush to the head (and loins)
Or perhaps a gentle calmness of mind, heart, soul
I doubt there’s anyone who hasn’t heard of Valentine’s Day (alright, with the exception of those who live in areas so rural that one requires a helicopter ride, several days of hiking and food rations to get there). Aside from being a trumped-up marketing tool for the likes of Hallmark and Tiffany’s, this fourteenth day of the second month of the year is, for all intents and purposes, a day to celebrate love in all forms. True, it’s tied-in a lot more with love for one’s significant other rather than anything else but in reality, Valentine’s Day is a day wherein we express gratitude and love for everyone who matters in our lives.
Be they spouse, child, brother, sister, father, mother, BFF. I draw the line at employer, although personally, I am married to mine.
Funny how we met.
O N L I N E
No, not as in Match. Those sort of things weren’t around in the early 2000s. The only online platforms that existed then were closer to Tinder than eHarmony, if you know what I mean, and people weren’t looking for anything beyond what this generation terms as a hook-up.
As a freelance PR strategist, I was looking for work. As a project manager for an energy company, he was looking for someone to develop an internal crisis communications manual for the plant. And twain shall the two meet, and love blossom vis–à–vis emails as well as phone calls. 14 years later and I am even more in love with him than when we exchanged that very first email on that fateful twenty-second day of June in the year two thousand and two.
It’s not a perfect relationship.
Anyone who claims to be in one is lying.
I can’t stand his snoring and his compulsion to interrupt when I’m speaking, to talk about something completely unrelated. It makes me want to pummel and muffle him. My messiness (think mountains of clothing on my side of the bedroom) and obsession with zero movement on the couch when I’m seated, drives him up the wall. There are moments when I would ever so willingly stab him and, I’m quite certain, moments when he would ever so willingly throttle me. But he is my world.
The heartbeat that keeps me alive.
He completes me. And I, him. There is no life for me without him. I was thinking about this just the other day. How different my life would be had I not met him. Where would I be now? What kind of person would I be? Is this something you think about as well? Do you ever pause to reminisce the different path your life would have taken had you not met your other half? Or if you had chosen someone else instead?
So when I started writing this piece, it was to advocate the concept of self-love. That Valentine’s Day wasn’t merely about romantic overtures executed on an annual basis, it wasn’t merely about love for others, but to focus on promoting self-love, positivity, empowerment. Instead, here I am, being sappy and mushy. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I love my man so very much. And I had to record it here.
That said, I’m also very very pleased to announce that starting March, on Thursdays to be precise, a new column will make its way to the blog. Called Self Love, it’s about, well, discovering new things about myself to love. I’ve been sexually abused, survived a physically abusive relationship, gone through wave upon wave of eating disorders, walked down that path of self destruction so many times I’ve lost count. I still suffer from depression today but I vowed that 2016 will be the year of a better me. The year that I will rediscover something worthwhile in me to love.
And that’s why I’m starting Self Love.
It’s where I’ll be documenting the process of spiritual, mental and emotional detoxification, and the things I learn about myself whilst doing it. In the hopes that by sharing my story, others will, in turn, share theirs with me, and together, we will stop being so self critical, measuring ourselves against others and always coming up short. That we will start to believe that we are beautiful, strong, powerful.
I hope you’ll be with me when my journey to Self Love begins. Until then, I want to wish you the loveliest Valentine’s Day ever.
Be happy, be you, be loved.
xo Sheela xo
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