Comments 19

What About Love?

What About Love | Sheela Writes

Yes, what about love?

A heady rush to the head (and loins)

Or perhaps a gentle calmness of mind, heart, soul


I doubt there’s anyone who hasn’t heard of Valentine’s Day (alright, with the exception of those who live in areas so rural that one requires a helicopter ride, several days of hiking and food rations to get there). Aside from being a trumped-up marketing tool for the likes of Hallmark and Tiffany’s, this fourteenth day of the second month of the year is, for all intents and purposes, a day to celebrate love in all forms. True, it’s tied-in a lot more with love for one’s significant other rather than anything else but in reality, Valentine’s Day is a day wherein we express gratitude and love for everyone who matters in our lives.

Be they spouse, child, brother, sister, father, mother, BFF.  I draw the line at employer, although personally, I am married to mine.

What About Love | Sheela Writes

Funny how we met.


No, not as in Match.  Those sort of things weren’t around in the early 2000s.  The only online platforms that existed then were closer to Tinder than eHarmony, if you know what I mean, and people weren’t looking for anything beyond what this generation terms as a hook-up.

What About Love | Sheela Writes

As a freelance PR strategist, I was looking for work.  As a project manager for an energy company, he was looking for someone to develop an internal crisis communications manual for the plant.  And twain shall the two meet, and love blossom vis–à–vis emails as well as phone calls.  14 years later and I am even more in love with him than when we exchanged that very first email on that fateful twenty-second day of June in the year two thousand and two.

It’s not a perfect relationship.

Anyone who claims to be in one is lying.

What About Love | Sheela Writes

I can’t stand his snoring and his compulsion to interrupt when I’m speaking, to talk about something completely unrelated.  It makes me want to pummel and muffle him.  My messiness (think mountains of clothing on my side of the bedroom) and obsession with zero movement on the couch when I’m seated, drives him up the wall.  There are moments when I would ever so willingly stab him and, I’m quite certain, moments when he would ever so willingly throttle me.  But he is my world.

My rock.

My soulmate.

The heartbeat that keeps me alive.

He completes me. And I, him.  There is no life for me without him.  I was thinking about this just the other day.  How different my life would be had I not met him.  Where would I be now?  What kind of person would I be?  Is this something you think about as well?  Do you ever pause to reminisce the different path your life would have taken had you not met your other half?  Or if you had chosen someone else instead?

So when I started writing this piece, it was to advocate the concept of self-love.  That Valentine’s Day wasn’t merely about romantic overtures executed on an annual basis, it wasn’t merely about love for others, but to focus on promoting self-love, positivity, empowerment.  Instead, here I am, being sappy and mushy.  I’m sorry.  I couldn’t help myself.  I love my man so very much.  And I had to record it here.

What About Love | Sheela Writes

That said, I’m also very very pleased to announce that starting March, on Thursdays to be precise, a new column will make its way to the blog.  Called Self Love, it’s about, well, discovering new things about myself to love. I’ve been sexually abused, survived a physically abusive relationship, gone through wave upon wave of eating disorders, walked down that path of self destruction so many times I’ve lost count. I still suffer from depression today but I vowed that 2016 will be the year of a better me. The year that I will rediscover something worthwhile in me to love.

And that’s why I’m starting Self Love.

It’s where I’ll be documenting the process of spiritual, mental and emotional detoxification, and the things I learn about myself whilst doing it.  In the hopes that by sharing my story, others will, in turn, share theirs with me, and together, we will stop being so self critical, measuring ourselves against others and always coming up short. That we will start to believe that we are beautiful, strong, powerful.

I hope you’ll be with me when my journey to Self Love begins.  Until then, I want to wish you the loveliest Valentine’s Day ever.

Be happy, be you, be loved.

xo Sheela xo

Linking up with Special Reds Wednesday, Threads For Thomas, The Wardrobe Stylist, Passion For Fashion Friday, Flashback Fashion Fridays, The Closet By Christie, Casual Friday, Fine Whatever Friday, Fashion Friday, Beauty 101 With Lisa, Claire Justine, Thursday Favourite Things, What I Wore To Work, Thursday Spotlight, Friday Link Party With Osy, Thursday Style Finds, Friday Fab Favourites, The Mummy Chronicles, To Be Wednesday, Mix It Mondays, Mingle Monday, Favourite Fashion Friday, Fabulous Friday, Dallas Style Blog, Sincerely Jenna Marie, A Labour Of Life, Forage Fashion, Book Of LeisureThe Sydney Fashion Hunter, My Girlish Whims, The Red Closet Diary, A Good Hue, Shoe & Tell, Color & Grace, Trend Spin, Two Peas In A Blog, Trendy Wednesday, Happiness At Midlife, Bloggers Who Inspire Me, Visible Monday, Style Elixir, Turning Heads, Let It Shine, What I Wore Wednesday, Style Swap Tuesdays, Style Me Wednesday, Confident Twosday, More Pieces Of Me, On The Daily Express, Personal Style, How I Spring, Walking In Memphis, Pumps & Push-Ups, Who’s Wearing What Wednesdays, Fun Fashion Friday, Casual Friday, Whitney a la Mode, I Will Wear What I Like, Style Story, Jersey Girl Texan Heart, Classy Yet Trendy, A Little Bit Of Cheer and Midweek Muse.


  1. No Fear of Fashion says

    This was an intense post. My goodness Sheela, you have gone through a lot. And that, as the British say, is the understatementof the year. So glad you found your man to love. It does help in life to have one who is there for you. And yes, loving yourself is a big part of being to love someone else. So I will look forward to this quest. I have lead a rather uneventful little life, for which I am very thankful.


    • Thank you for your words, Greetje. I never used to believe in the phrase that what doesn’t kill you, can only make you stronger, until lately. I’m quite certain I wouldn’t be the person I am today without all that history. It’s taken me over 30 years to even say it aloud, in writing, that I was sexually abused, and I know that has to happen to start the healing process. I can’t imagine how much stronger one has to be to forgive. At this point in my life, I doubt I would ever forgive but they say one has to, to move on 🙂


  2. Sheela, I love this post so much and the words you say about your hubs. It’s absolutely wonderful and I know what you mean. A perfect relationship? You always have to work on your relationship and can’t take it for granted. As you say, anybody saying something else is lying. I’ve been with my hubs for 28 years this year. It’s always up and downs. Adn I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, there’s a lot of suffering involved so I think it’s great you will start this column. Much love, Kirsten xx


    • You were high school sweethearts? How beautiful 🙂 and yes you’re absolutely right, relationships are the emotional equivalent of roller coaster rides. Tumultuous, peppered with highs and lows, and everything in between but ultimately, all worthwhile.

      Thank you, Kirsten, I never thought I would ever have the courage to just share that bit of my life on a public level but it eats you up from the inside out, you know, and sometimes, just spills over into the “real” world” xoxo


    • Thank you so much, Patti, and yes, I too am glad I did not give up on love. It would be a sad, bitter day if I did. Love brings more highs than lows, and I’m looking so forward to growing old with my man xoxo


  3. Love your writing of course, my friend. What a lovely tribute. Yes, I had this conversation with my mom about where you hear of the perfect marriage and they never fought! Doesn’t happen. Beautiful message and humour, must have it! My hubby does that too, interrupt, and then, I completely forget what I was even saying. Loved your LOVE story
    Thanks for linking up with TH TUesday
    jess xx


    • Hahaha. I oscillate between wanting to hug him and kiss him, and wanting to pummel him LOL at the end of the day, he completes me. Literally. He is my soulmate and I wouldn’t want to live without him 🙂 xoxo


  4. Wow! This post. I’m speechless.

    First I was loving all the romantic story about you and Gigi. I sure hope he reads this blog because what you wrote about your love story is so dear and special.

    Then, the introduction of Self Love on Thursdays! Yay to this! But Sheela, wow to all the things you’ve been through. That’s where I’m left speechless. Thank you for sharing so much about yourself with us. It is truly brave.

    I’m looking forward to Thursdays now!

    Big hug! Annie from Kremb de la Kremb


    • Thank you, Annie, this was the hardest, no, the second hardest post I’ve had to write. The hardest will be Self Love which comes out on Thursday. I’m really quite anxious and nervous and scared but it needs to be purged if I am to heal 🙂 xoxo


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