My Fight Song

Am I religious?

No, not particularly.


Do I believe in miracles and the power of prayer?  That I do.  Wait.  A public proclamation of that nature does ring rather like the voice of a false prophet, doesn’t it?  Akin to a 21st century messiah but that’s not what we’re talking about today.  I’m here, neither to preach nor propagate words from any book of old.  I am, however, going to share what I did on Monday (which, incidentally, prevented me from publishing my regular post) and how I think it might change my life.

I’ve talked about my weight issues here and here.  Since then, I’ve gained another 17lbs despite a strict, clean diet coupled with exercise.  No matter what I did, the weight just kept rising.  I couldn’t understand what was going on with my body.  I was doing all the right things.  Protein-centric diet.  Minimal to zero carbs.  No wheat.  No sugar.  Loads of greens.  Loads of exercising.  And still the scales showed that my weight was continuously on the up.  In the span of a year, I went from a Size 0/2 to a 10/12.  It hurts to even type that number.

Something In The Water | Sheela Writes


I did.  I stopped working out.

I sat on the couch and watched TV all day long.

I didn’t even wash my hair for days.

My husband recognised the signs.  His mother suffers from chronic clinical depression and anxiety, and he saw the beginnings of the same in me.  What’s a man to do in such a situation?  Make an appointment for his wife to meet a team of specialists.

Something In The Water | Sheela WritesSomething In The Water | Sheela WritesSomething In The Water | Sheela Writes

And so, for the better part of Monday, I spent time with specialist after specialist after specialist after specialist.  Bloodwork panels.  Sonogram for this and sonogram for that.  A cognitive test here and a cardiovascular test there.  Bone density and total body composition exams (these were really cool, you lie on a bed, and the overhead camera takes pictures of the inside of your body, segmented by body water, dry lean mass and body fat mass).  Even a test to measure if my lean muscle was over, under or of normal range, and to determine if muscle mass was distributed evenly throughout the body.


Something In The Water | Sheela WritesSomething In The Water | Sheela Writes

I felt all sorts of Peter-Parker-stung-by-a-radioactive-spider vibes.  Stop laughing.

What did I learn from spending 7 hours with them?  That my heart is really quite strong, stronger than I thought it was.  That my testosterone, progesterone, cortisol and thyroid levels  are practically non existent, which explains things such as the chronic fatigue, the neverending weight gain, the inability to get out of bed let alone accomplish anything. It was a golden moment. A miracle moment.

To understand why this moment means so much to me, you need to know that since 2013, I’ve consulted with 3 neurologists, 2 endocrinologists, 1 rheumatologist, 1 hormone replacement therapist, 2 gynecologists, 2 family doctors, 1 internist, 1 gastroenterologist, 2 immunologists, 3 dermatologists and 4 allergists, all of which have either (a) checked only one specific area and, worse, found nothing; (b) prescribed the bare minimum medication even if it was clearly not working; or (c) told me to go home and stop being a hypochondriac.

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Things are happening, at long last.

Finally, I could put a name to my enemy, or rather, names to my enemies.  To all those mysterious things plaguing me since 2013.  Finally, I can fight so, this is my fight song.  My “take back my life” song.  I’m being corny and I really don’t give a shit.

I have specific medications to address all those things my body is running empty on.  A customised meal plan to address the various autoimmune issues wrecking havoc inside of me.  An exercise regime tailored to ensure I burn the optimal number of calories without raising my heart rate so high, it triggers an Angioedema flare-up, and potentially kills me.

I now have a plan.  And with a plan, all things are possible.


And it’s music to my ears 🙂

Love, Sheela

p/s photos by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.


50 Replies to “My Fight Song”

  1. I’m sorry to hear about all of these health complications (but kudos for the super heart, must be from all your workout! Perhaps?). But I think we all know that you’re a strong woman and you can fight them, and what’s more, you’ll look FABULOUS while doing it. I hope things get better for you, and do update your readers on the process! I have no doubt you’ll do your very best, and I wish you all the best, Sheela! Sending love from Malaysia xo


    1. Thank you so much, Liyana, I am hoping things will be on the up and up and soon. There’s nothing quite as demoralising as having zero energy when in the past, you kicked ass over women half your age in the gym. Sigh. Fingers and toes crossed xoxo


  2. Congratulations to you for a life-changing moment! And big kiss to your husband for encouraging you to get physically checked. And a big hug to you for sharing this, as I am sure many women are also suffering with hormone imbalances. Cheers to feeling like your old self soon, xox



    1. Yes my man is my rock 🙂 the thing that bothers me is that I’ve been to countless inspections and physicals yet not a single specialist picked up on what was happening to me, and because of that we wasted 3 years. Arrgghhh. I could scream. But it is what it is and hopefully I’ll be me again soon 🙂 xoxo


  3. I love your raw-ness and realness, just your overall strength. You believe in the power of prayer. You will be fine. Best wishes. xoxo


  4. Oh Sheela, I’m so sorry, I know what you’re going through. I’ve had thyroid issues for 18 years now and I’ve always been very skinny and after having taking hormones for some years I gained weight just all of a sudden. I tried to eat almost nothing which didn’t help at all. I went to see a specialist then and she changed the hormones which helped a great deal. It was such a relief but it took years to find the right person. Thyroid problems are definately no easy to solve. Thinking of you. Love, Kirsten xx


    1. It sucks, doesn’t it 🙂 I went from a 2 to a double digit in the space of a year, and I can’t accept that. I just can’t. The worse thing is when thyroid meets hormonal imbalances plus steroids for my lupus, and everything just goes downhill from there. Hopefully all these new measures we’ve put in place will make a difference 🙂 thank you so much for your kind words, Kirsten xoxo


  5. Wow, so glad that you finally got some answers and have a plan of attack! Love those floral wedges, so, so cute! Love the pattern mixing too! Thanks for linking up with Style Perspectives today!


  6. It’s amazing how much those hormones can make a difference in our overall health…and how we have such little control over them. But I bet it feels fantastic to at least know the why! It’s much easier to fight against a known.
    Funny because my hormones went just the opposite and I was losing weight without trying (i know everyone thinks that’s great….but it’s just as scary—have you ever googled why am i losing weight?—cancer is the usual). Luckily it wasn’t a tumor in my pituitary….just the stress from the move and menopause! It was incredible how just hearing these things made me feel so much better.
    So I can totally relate and good for your hubby!! jodie
    ps…you have the greatest shoe collection


    1. I know what you mean, I went from hyperthyroid to hypothyroid then lost the thyroid function completely with Hashimoto’s 🙂 there’s just so many things happening all at once (the thyroid, the hormone imbalance, the urticaria, the lupus, the elevated IGEs), I’m just so lost. I still am, a little, but at least we’re now addressing the thyroid and hormones and energy issue so hopefully things will start to look better and soon xoxo


  7. Oh wow, thank goodness your sweet husband set you up that appointment. I’m so glad they were able to find the things that were wrong and create a plan to correct them. Yay, you are on your way to recovery and looking amazing as you always do! I would have never thought you felt all of these things by looking at you. Your outfit is gorgeous and you look stunning!


  8. Wow. That sounds like a long battle. I hear that same complaint from so many people. Seeing Dr. after Dr. and not ever finding an answer. No doubt you are relieved. I hope this provides the results you are looking for and you can finally move forward with your life.

    My husband has a similar plan through his work where they give him a full body 8 hour exam annually as preventative medicine. The Canadian gov’t needs to get on board with that as it can save millions of dollars and millions of lives. Dealing with the problem after is so much more expensive.

    I suffer from an autoimmune disease that is causing all kinds of issues and I still haven’t found a good Dr. so I really feel your pain.

    Your colourful outfit here signifies you have broken through to the other side.

    I want to steal that bag.



    1. Yes, I’m finally seeing some light at the end of a very long tunnel 🙂 I just wish there was something they could do for the Lupus and Chronic Urticaria, that would stop the need to take steroids and go a long way towards bringing the weight down. Maybe one day 🙂 I’m sorry you’re suffering too, Suzanne, just keep searching for answers. Don’t stop xoxo


  9. You are strong and brave and I love that you shared this story with the outward expression of gorgeous fashion. It is so powerful and you are beautiful.


  10. Wow. I can relate to your struggles and I admire your bravery in sharing such a personal part of yourself. And that outfit is FABULOUS! All of it, from head to toe and all around. Thank you for supporting my blog and adding your post to the Powers the Flower link-up.


    1. Putting my demons on paper and writing how I feel about them has proved to be exceedingly therapeutic for me, Rena, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much lighter 🙂 xoxo


  11. Okay, friend. I’m going to start with the frivolous part…those shoes. No, seriously. Of all of the shoes in your enviable collection, these are begging to live in my closet. Can’t you hear them. Now the not frivolous part. I truly do feel your pain my soul sister. Years of painful, and sometimes humiliating (yes, I too was accused of hypochondria) tests and the best they could come up with is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. There’s no treatment to fix it, and on paper I’m the picture of health. I’m fortunate that my doctor is super open minded and slightly alternative; how cool is to find an M.D. who is also open to alternative medicine? She and I are currently on a mission to figure this shit out. I’m on thyroid meds which help somewhat, but the problem still isn’t fixed so we’re testing some things out. I’m so happy you’ve got a direction to head in regard to straightening things out. Sometimes the most important thing is hope. Perhaps it’s sounds trite, but I truly mean this…although you see yourself differently due to the weight, all I see is a knockout babe with a killer intellect.


    1. OMG don’t let her go!!! Your doctor, I mean 🙂 she’s a rare gem and treasure. This new doctor, he’s leading the team, has also been a godsend. He believes that the leaky gut syndrome is real. He encourages alternative remedies such as acupuncture, hypnotherapy, and healing of both mind as well as body. I’m now on two types of thyroid medication, testosterone injections, progesterone as well as B12 medications, all of which are made from natural resources. I’ve also eliminated 95% of my sugar intake to boost my immunity system, and completely stopped taking white as well as brown rice because of the toxins they use to grow these things. Fingers crossed xoxo


  12. Finally being heard and feeling understood – that must be amazing. You have a diagnosis, you have a plan, and you have renewed hope! Your relief at finally getting news (not good news, but at least a name for your problems) radiated off the screen. I wish you nothing but the very best!!
    You got this.


  13. Wow, thank you for such an honest post. That is definitely frustrating and depressing but on a bright side, you know your diagnosis now (can only imagine what you went through before you knew that), you have a plan and you have a wonderful man by your side who supports you. That’s all that matters the most. And your outfit is fabulous!


    1. Yes, I’m elated. Finally there’s some sort of direction. And things are getting done rather than just sitting down and wallowing in a pity party 🙂 xoxo


    1. Oh. Thank you so much, Shauna. I shared this for a very selfish reason, it’s so therupatic for me. Sharing lessens the load a little and it helps a lot 🙂 xoxo


  14. It’s funny how many fashion bloggers seem to struggle on with health problems, but also good that they have a platform to share them on. I’m sorry that you have a huge hormonal imbalance and can only say it must be a huge relief to have someone diagnose this at last and give you hope. Well one to your lovely hubby for pushing to get some answers!
    You look awewome as ever Sheela, and those shoes in particular are uber cute x
    Anna’s Island Style


    1. I do believe though that health issues are rampant everywhere but because of that platform you mentioned, bloggers and their conditions loom larger than life 🙂 thank you, Anna, hormonal imbalances are no fun, and when you throw in the Lupus as well as the Angioedema and Urticaria, I was climbing walls for years 🙂 xoxo


  15. Sheela you really sound like you’ve been through the wringer – what a lot you’ve been through!! But it sounds like there’s light at the end of the tunnel for you, I’m so glad that you feel like you’re on the right path now and getting somewhere… Must be a total relief for you. Wishing you all the very best luck for what I hope will now be you getting back to good health!!

    Fabulous outfit btw – you may just see it on my “featured florals” in the link up tomorrow 🙂

    Catherine x


  16. I am so happy for you. Not knowing what is wrong with you is sooo devastating. I was already thinking of a slow working thyroid. Well I saw that word in your list. Kudos to your husband. He takes care of you.
    And on with the fight.


    1. A non existent thyroid 🙂 amongst other things, yes. And thank the lord for my husband and his persistence. Left to my own devices, I would’ve just crawled into a corner and waited to die. Sigh xoxo


  17. I’m speechless. I will talk to you (via Whatsapp) in my morning. I am feeling guilty that I missed this most amazing, heartbreaking, yet completely heartwarming post. We all don’t know the crosses we all bear, do we? I want to be there for you Dear Sheela the way you are always there for me.

    I love you.

    Love, Annie


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