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Stargazing & A Link-Up

Stargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Twinkle twinkle, little star.

Am I only to gaze upon you from afar?


Are you an ambitious person?  With dreams and goals that you work hard to attain?  I would think so.  And I believe I’m the same.  My question here is, should we be ambitious?  Hell, yes.  That being said, the unfortunate news is that more often than not, we stop ourselves before we get there.  At times, even before we actually start.  Whether or not we get in our way, or because we listen to the noise others put in our heads.  We start to believe we don’t have the right to aspire.


Here’s the thing, people are going to try to stop you.  They’re going to say all sorts of things.  Such as it simply can’t be done; or you’re the wrong type of person to do it (whatever IT is).  That you’re a man, a woman, a black person, a white person, a red person, a yellow person, whatever.  Naysayers are going to say it.  Haters are going to hate.  But you have to forge ahead.  You simply must.  Keep forging on.  No matter in spite of anything (and everything) they hurl your way.

Stargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesStargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesStargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes


That’s the harsh truth.

People will try to shut you down.  And if you do succeed, despite all the obstacles, those very same people will do their level best to instigate feelings of guilt.  Oh yes, they will.  They’ll try as hard as they possibly can, to make you feel bad, because guess what??  You actually did what you set out to do.  Worse, they’ll accuse you of being ambitious.  Because being ambitious (and having dreams) is against the law, apparently, it’s a crime.

All because you had a dream, and you went for it.

Why else have goals if not to reach for them?

To reach for the stars?

Stargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesStargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

I know you know of whom I speak when I say you’ll have attackers.  Those who dismiss your dreams, and attack your integrity.  And, quite possibly, everything that makes you, YOU.  For reasons you’ll never fully understand.  To be perfectly candid, it’s really quite possible they themselves don’t even understand why it seems necessary to crush someone else’s soul, save that the same thing has been inflicted upon them too.  How sad.  The (vicious) cycle goes on repeat mode.  It becomes a game of how many bubbles one can pop, how many dreams one can destroy.

The harshest critic, however, is the one living within our own heads.  I see you nodding in agreement.  Nodding quite vehemently, too.

Let me shoot straight from the hip.  Having ambition is not a bad thing.  It’s what drives us ever forward.  You NEED ambition.  You NEED to strive to reach your dreams.  You NEED to believe in yourself to achieve them. The only one who can stop you, is you.  Others will try, but only you can succeed at stopping yourself.  And, of course, it’s so much easier said than done, I know.

Stargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesStargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Tenacity.  That’s the name of the game.

We could all use a little more tenacity.

As I said, haters will to hate, but in truth, it’s not them we need to worry about.

Take me for example.  My husband insists I’m afraid of success.  I insist he’s being nonsensical.  I mean, didn’t I count (the) Courtney Love Cobain and The Veronicas as my clients when I was a jewellery designer? And weren’t Sally Hansen, Loewe, Bulgari as well as Dr Scholl part of my portfolio as a freelance PR Consultant?  I pour myself into every endeavour.  Heart.  Mind.  Soul.  And shoot for the stars.

So what on earth was he talking about, I demanded.  Yes, the man responded, but do you also remember Bergdorf Goodman asking to see samples of your designs, and you freaking out to the point of never even responding?  And when that huge agency in NYC approached you, inviting you to join them, you flaked on that too?  And hid behind your laptop/keyboard?

Stargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesStargazing & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

He has a point.  Or three.  As someone who isn’t very confident of herself, and who carries around far more emotional baggage than could fit into any single plane, I indulge in far too many doubts.  Doubts and fears which lead to acts of self-sabotage.  I stop even before I start, for fear of failing.  And here I am, preaching to Eve that one should never give up, to always try, try, and try again.  That success isn’t dependent on how many times you succeed, nor on the number of times you circumvent (read: avoid) an issue.  It’s really about the number of times you pick yourself up after each fall.

I owe it to myself (and her) to at least try.

Let’s at least try.

Go forth, be tenacious.

Love, Sheela

p/s photos by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.


  1. I enjoyed reading your post Sheila. I know what you mean. I went to school and studied jazz guitar. I played in a blues band in college. Had some failed attempts at trying to get together with others. But found men who didnt want me to be the lead player, rather that I play the tambourine in the backgound! I used to want to perform solo, but never started because of my expectations! I have thought about it over the years. Great writing as always my friend. Love the shoes and really cool jacket!
    jess xx


  2. This post came at the right time as I love blogging but I think family members would rather see me do such and such with my kids, or work a brick and mortar job with kids and the list goes on. I believe some things happen for a reason and for now I am loving the dream I am in. Beautifully written my friend and lovely photo location and outfit. Live your dream!
    Rachel xo


  3. robjodiefilogomo says

    It is much easier to pour out the advice onto others (especially when they are your children, no?) than follow it yourself I think! And as much as I agree that we should always continue to strive, I also think it’s important to not beat ourselves up for past avoidances—It is what it is, and the past can’t be changed. Analyze, learn & move on is my thinking!
    Speaking of moving on—did you take the pictures on a bridge as symbolic?
    And I had to laugh at the theme for next week—at least I know I’ll be right on cue—ha ha!!
    ps…as usual, let me gush over your footwear–hot, sexy & powerful…all in one shoe!


  4. I am so glad I found your blog! I love your writing style and reading your words, that seem to be coming from my own head. I am not a great writer, but darn it Sheela you are reading my mind! You express your self so well and have inspired me. I do deal with self doubt and can get stuck in my own stubbornness and fear. Part of why I started blogging was to challenge my self and prove to the world and my self what I am capable of! Thank you for joining my link up!


  5. So true, especially the part about us being our worst critics and holding ourselves back! And yes to owing it to ourselves to try! I often think what advice I would give my kids in a certain situation, and it definitely would be not to give up!

    Great outfit & great location!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    Andrea’s Wellness Notes


  6. samantha4blair says

    Wonderful words Sheela!
    They hit home with me…. I think women tend to undervalue themselves and feel like frauds.
    Why? I do not know!
    I (like you) tell me girls they can take on the world and win!
    Beautiful, smart, powerful.
    Why can’t we take our own advice??
    P.S. I am loving this look and those shooooooooooes!!….they are killer!


  7. Well said, Sheela! I really enjoyed reading this post and also checking out your look. I like the way you styled all these neutrals. This is a very fun look.


  8. The fear of failure, or for that matter success, can be a powerful paralyzer. I find it amazing how much we learn about ourselves and continue to grow as we nurture and guide our children. Thank you for this wonderful message and for sharing your post on my Up, Down, All-Around link-up.



  9. shelbeeontheedge1 says

    Oh the truths you speak, Sheela! And you threw for me a loop by the end of this post! I was all like, yeah, haters…I just walk away from them. When someone is trying to bring me down and discourage me…well, I have learned through the years that I don’t need people like that in my life. I refuse to indulge them, to hear them, to have them around. I just go my own way. Then, BAM! You start talking about self-sabotage and fear of success. And I was like, uh-oh…wait a minute…I am the one who does this to myself more than anyone ever has. And I can’t walk away from me, can I? If someone else tells me I can’t do something, you can bet your butt I will do it. But what do I do when I tell me I can’t do something? Well, I run and hide and quit. Yikes! Something needs to change! Thank you, Sheela, for this little slap in the face! Well played!



  10. Oh, this seems to be written from my own heart. When people’s fixed perceptions of you box you in, can you really say they are on your side, even when they are family? I’ve had to do some painful pruning but the results have been worth it. I still have the self-saboteur in my head, it’s the hardest one to deal with. I watched the series London Spy recently and one character said to the other, You have ambition but no conviction. It was a bit of an ah-ha moment. Great post.


  11. Yep, you’ve just got to GO for it ! As for haters, well , just brush them aside. They mean NOTHING ! I got so engrossed in your words I nearly forgot to tell you how much I love that jacket xx


  12. Such a great post Sheela! I totally identify with every word – fear of failure is such a paralyser and the self saboteur is just as (or more) lethal than the inevitable ‘haters’ . You are so right that we owe it to ourselves to at least try!
    On another note, I love your outfit! and the location is perfect!
    Julia xx


  13. I love coming over here just to get a pick me up. I’ll try to be more tenacious Sheela. I’ll try to go after it–if it is simply only posting for myself.

    Thank you dear friend. Your words are always so inspirational.

    Love, Annie


  14. Pingback: Capsule Wardrobe Outfit 2.14: Flared Sleeves and Denim Skirt – 5 feet of style

  15. I am just loving your color palette and amazing marbled jacket. Those heels are killer.

    I can remember a time or two I let my own thoughts stand in my own way of opportunities. These days I do find myself taking a step back and pondering what would I want fro my sons if they were in the same situation and it is amazing how my perspective changes.


  16. Thanks for this awesome post. I think this can be great encouragement for all of us bloggers out there too!



  17. happinessatmidlife says

    I am not much of a dreamer but I do have goals that I set mainly for work. Personal life, I take it just day by day.

    I love the textures of this outfit.

    Thank you for being a part of TBT Fashion link up and hope to see you soon!



  18. Dear Sheela, many thanks for your true and wise post. I would say I’m not really ambitious but I have discipline and I finish what I want to do. There are indeed people you describe here – unfortunately I don’t care as my parents thought me nothing to give on other’s opinion🙂 But I have the opinion that your look with the pencil skirt is really cool and I love also the setting of your pictures!
    Enjoy the mid of the week🙂
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena


  19. stinedurfdl says

    I so agree with you. The majority of my naysayers and haters have been left behind in the dust of my childhood. But the naysayer in my head, ya, still hanging around. Sometimes it’s hard to not be our own worst critic.
    As always, you look crazy fabulous. And I am completely in love with that clutch.


  20. You know what’s the sad part is, Sheela? That as I am reading every word of yours and nodding in agreement, the negative people that came into my mind was my family. It’s not like they don’t love me but it’s always, you won’t go very far, don’t be so full of yourself, who do you think you are that you believe you could achieve this….those are the usual comments that I get whenever I want to do something. It caused lots of frictions between me and my family and even though time and again I proved that I got it right, they were still nay sayers.

    You have an amazing portfolio girl, I mean to work for Sally Hansen, Bulgari just to name the few is amazing! Your husband is right but then again, as you said, we are our own worst critique.

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity


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