Twinkle twinkle, little star.
Am I only to gaze upon you from afar?
Are you an ambitious person? With dreams and goals that you work hard to attain? I would think so. And I believe I’m the same. My question here is, should we be ambitious? Hell, yes. That being said, the unfortunate news is that more often than not, we stop ourselves before we get there. At times, even before we actually start. Whether or not we get in our way, or because we listen to the noise others put in our heads. We start to believe we don’t have the right to aspire.
AS IN, HOW DARE WE DARE TO DREAM!!
Here’s the thing, people are going to try to stop you. They’re going to say all sorts of things. Such as it simply can’t be done; or you’re the wrong type of person to do it (whatever IT is). That you’re a man, a woman, a black person, a white person, a red person, a yellow person, whatever. Naysayers are going to say it. Haters are going to hate. But you have to forge ahead. You simply must. Keep forging on.
No matter in spite of anything (and everything) they hurl your way.
PEOPLE WILL TRY TO SHUT YOU DOWN
That’s the harsh truth.
People will try to shut you down. And if you do succeed, despite all the obstacles, those very same people will do their level best to instigate feelings of guilt. Oh yes, they will. They’ll try as hard as they possibly can, to make you feel bad, because guess what?? You actually did what you set out to do. Worse, they’ll accuse you of being ambitious. Because being ambitious (and having dreams) is against the law, apparently, it’s a crime.
All because you had a dream, and you went for it.
Why else have goals if not to reach for them?
To reach for the stars?
I know you know of whom I speak when I say you’ll have attackers. Those who dismiss your dreams, and attack your integrity. And, quite possibly, everything that makes you, YOU. For reasons you’ll never fully understand. To be perfectly candid, it’s really quite possible they themselves don’t even understand why it seems necessary to crush someone else’s soul, save that the same thing has been inflicted upon them too. How sad. The (vicious) cycle goes on repeat mode. It becomes a game of how many bubbles one can pop, how many dreams one can destroy.
The harshest critic, however, is the one living within our own heads. I see you nodding in agreement. Nodding quite vehemently, too.
Let me shoot straight from the hip. Having ambition is not a bad thing. It’s what drives us ever forward. You NEED ambition. You NEED to strive to reach your dreams. You NEED to believe in yourself to achieve them. The only one who can stop you, is you. Others will try, but only you can succeed at stopping yourself. And, of course, it’s so much easier said than done, I know.
Tenacity. That’s the name of the game.
We could all use a little more tenacity.
As I said, haters will to hate, but in truth, it’s not them we need to worry about.
Take me for example. My husband insists I’m afraid of success. I insist he’s being nonsensical. I mean, didn’t I count (the) Courtney Love Cobain and The Veronicas as my clients when I was a jewellery designer? And weren’t Sally Hansen, Loewe, Bulgari as well as Dr Scholl part of my portfolio as a freelance PR Consultant? I pour myself into every endeavour. Heart. Mind. Soul. And shoot for the stars.
So what on earth was he talking about, I demanded. Yes, the man responded, but do you also remember Bergdorf Goodman asking to see samples of your designs, and you freaking out to the point of never even responding? And when that huge agency in NYC approached you, inviting you to join them, you flaked on that too? And hid behind your laptop/keyboard?
He has a point. Or three. As someone who isn’t very confident of herself, and who carries around far more emotional baggage than could fit into any single plane, I indulge in far too many doubts. Doubts and fears which lead to acts of self-sabotage. I stop even before I start, for fear of failing. And here I am, preaching to Eve that one should never give up, to always try, try, and try again. That success isn’t dependent on how many times you succeed, nor on the number of times you circumvent (read: avoid) an issue. It’s really about the number of times you pick yourself up after each fall.
I owe it to myself (and her) to at least try.
Let’s at least try.
Go forth, be tenacious.
p/s photos by Sofia Touassa
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