Just a little?
Or is it too much?
An age old argument of what’s slutty, what’s classy. An equally perennial debate of what is sexy, what isn’t. In what scenario does a hint of cleavage hold the same level of allure as an entirely exposed bosom? When is something deemed sexy, anyway? And what experience (or traits) do any of us hold, that qualify as to hold dual roles of sartorial judge and jury?
Personally, as an ardent fan of style, I’m fascinated by pop culture, by how it impacts upon life and style. I’m certainly no expert but here’s what I’ve come to realise. It’s the media which sets the standards of what’s sexy. An arbitrary standard that, sadly, has caused many females (young and old) to believe that if you are not “hot” according to conventional standards (read: Victoria Secret’s ridiculous round-up), then you’re neither interesting nor desirable.
From where I’m standing, being sexy has nothing to do with the size of your breasts or the gap between your thighs (or lack thereof) nor the pout of your lips.
SEXINESS COMES FROM WITHIN
It’s not walking down the red carpet practically naked.
Nor suggestively gyrating to a giant foam finger.
Being comfortable and confident in your skin? Now that’s sexy. It’s nothing obvious. It’s not about being obvious. For instance, a form-fitting ladylike knee-length dress is oh so sexy without being overt, and reveals nothing more than forearms, hands, legs.
Intelligence is sexy. Confidence is sexy. And when that sexiness is backed by poise, elegance, purpose and substance, it becomes immensely powerful. It isn’t fleeting.
Being tastefully sexy is about what you do in life and about how you carry yourself. It’s about showing skin, selectively. Never too much. Always just a hint.
Don’t misunderstand. It’s perfectly alright to celebrate someone as a sex symbol. Personally, I’m all for Gwen Stefani and Angelina Jolie. What these two women have in common are they’re both bold, strong, independent, successful and working mothers. Oh and yes, by the way, they’re also gorgeous and stylish. When you’re tastefully sexy AND doing things (be it to improve yourself or the ones you love or the world), it’s so much more alluring and attractive than merely looking hot in front of the camera.
And that is why I’m EVER so proud that today’s installment of Project Sister Act is focused on the beauty of a bared shoulder. Or two. A mere glimpse of skin. Nothing more. Nothing blatant. On the power of subtlety.
Eve (the world according to eve)
Veena (knowing my style)
Ada (elegance and mummyhood)
Sheela (sheela writes)
Reena (fine whatever)
What I’m trying to say is do not ever let the chase for sexy get in the way of what you’re trying to accomplish. It’s quite alright to be smart. To be independent (financially, emotionally). It’s quite alright to chase your dreams and be the boss. Do what you love, be yourself, be healthy, and before you know it, you will be sexy. Firstly to yourself, then to others, and that’s really how it ought to go. Remember it’s not what you see in the mirror, it’s who you see.
Don’t forget to join the Project Sister Act Link-Up Party, and show me your sexy.
p/s my photos by Eve
I link up here.
I very much agree. I think confidence is sexy in men and women. Intelligence and the ability to carry ones self in a way that exudes self-assuredness to me, is sexy. I certainly don’t think one has to bare next to nothing to be sexy. I like an open back, “cold shoulder” or bare shoulders, some leg etc. This outfit is sexy! Love the blush color, the gold accents, and those shoes.. ah, so sweet!
thanks for linking up with turning heads tuesday’
All very beautiful and SEXY. I agree that it comes from within and shows more through your confidence than from bared flesh.
Thank you again for the invitation to join your Project Sister Act collaboration and for the incentive to try a new trend. Your message about sexiness coming from within is a fabulous reminder that there is no one standard for sexy. Isn’t it amazing how a little bit of skin peeking through a cut out in clothing can be very sexy and yet still so unrevealing?
I think you look gorgeous here, Sheela. You look very sexy without revealing a lot… a really strong goddess vibe happening here! xx
Yet another fabulous post, Sheela! I just read this entire post to my husband…because…well, he has been trying to give me this same message for years now…he is a very smart man (but I don’t let him know that very often!) And it is an extraordinarily important message that needs to be delivered to women everywhere. So thank you. And you are tremendously sexy in this blush cold shoulder dress. But more importantly, your words are what draw me in and create an intrigue that leaves me wanting more, more, more! Write on, Sheela! I am a forever fan!
And thank you for linking up with me! I appreciate the support!
All beautiful ladies! I love your blush dress and the subtle sexy back!
Another powerful post! You described what is sexy so well.
I don’t have a cold shoulder top (yet), but I think it shows the perfect amount of skin (for me). But as you said, so much more important is how you feel in your skin, what you think, say, do, etc.
Andrea’s Wellness Notes
Confidence is everything and you’ve got it.
Very thin line between what is sexy vs. class vs. trashy. We each have different preservatives, but I agree a little skin goes a long way. I never been a fan of exposing too much even in my much younger years. I like to leave a lil bit of surprise and suspense….LOL
I agree! The way you carry yourself out is indeed a bunch of sexy!
❤ | X ALY | Latest: Effortless in Denim – Style Post | ft. tassel bag
Not showing any skin can be sexy, like you say a lot depends on how you feel confidence etc. x
You look gorgeous in this dress! Love what you had to say about the topic too! I couldn’t agree more!
Very good post, I agree sexy comes from so much more than bare skin. Great dress.
Sexiness is definitely more a state of mind then it is a specific piece of clothing or a body part. A woman can put on what most might agree is a “sexy” dress or top, but if she doesn’t wear it with the confidence necessary to pull it off the sexiness will be lacking. Often I find that showing too much skin, depending upon how it’s done, smacks of desperation. Personally, I think anything off the shoulder is sexy in the most perfect subtle way. I also think that all of the shades of blush/nude that your sporting here just add to the sexiness of the off the shoulder look. Plus there’s the added bonus of a cutout back and subtle slit in the skirt. And you wear it all paired with your smokin’ hot confidence. You are oozing sexy hotness!
Agreed on all your points! Subtlety is very sexy, and I’m loving the all the off the shoulder and cold shoulder tops this summer. It’s different from what we usually think of sexy (a hint of cleavage or a short skirt).
Arielle from Casual ‘n Couture
It’s so true that the term sexy isn’t really about showing skin—it’s all about so many other things!!
In fact, I never really thought about the sexiness of shoulders until I wore my first cold shoulder shirt—then I was like—“oh my”!!
Of course as I tell you every post—those shoes sure up the sexiness appeal—your outfit would look quite humorous if you’d worn tevas instead!
Great points here. I think you definitely look confident, independent and beautiful. Make a statement friend!
Great look, love your shoes 🙂
Thanks for sharing at Creative Mondays..
You look gorgeous! The shoes are super hot! xxx
Loving the neutrals and those heels are fabulous! I have the same in white.
All of you – so beautiful, confident, individual! Great topic, Sheela and you look like ten million bucks in that dress! xox
Loving that dress on you Sheela! In my opinion, just enough. All that matters is that you like what you wear, not others 🙂
I love this post Sheela. You’ve hit the nail on the head. I get so sad seeing young (impressionable) girls thinking the only way to dress and get noticed is to wear barely nothing and end up looking like porn stars. I’m not an advocate of modest dressing either but it seems all to often it’s an either or and so many women has lost the ability to find the balance.
Often subtle touches like the off the shoulder look are way sexy than full on body parts on display.
Sexiness doesn’t come from clothes or makeup. It comes from within. Sure the right clothes can boost your confidence but it’s only a veneer. It’s the light in the eyes, it’s the hint of a smile, it’s walking tall – and that has nothing to do with the clothes on your back.
I love this blush/nude look! Those heels are fabulous!
Jeans and a Teacup
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