Watching, and whispering.
Remember my very first session with a professional photographer, complete with big, floppy hat, and sunny side up? Or that virgin foray into a location shoot (read: venturing far outside my
comfort zone backyard) and surviving the ordeal of changing in the backseat of a car? Well, that was in February, my friends, and how things have changed since.
Do not misunderstand. I remain immensely uncomfortable about striking a pose (or ten) in public. Those sidelong glances and not too subtle looks still get to me. And the tendency to
flush blush will probably never ever completely disappear. But that’s quite alright.
I’ve gotten comfortable about feeling uncomfortable.
DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
When we shot these, it was around 11am. In the heart of Town & Country. People were out and about. Cars were a-plenty and foot traffic was beyond heavy. There were passersby milling around us the entire time. Staring. Observing. I even spied one guy who was taking a picture (or snap) of us taking pictures. Seriously, dude.
A scant six months ago, I would probably have sped through the process, looking as uncomfortable as I felt, and ended up with awful photos of me appearing wooden and petrified and uneasy. This time, however, I smiled at whomever looked my way. I waved. I made eye contact.
I even said hello to the few who sauntered past.
I REPEAT, HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED
No one likes to feel uncomfortable in any situation because it feels, well, uncomfortable. Most of us will go to great lengths to avoid being placed in such a circumstance, it’s human nature, even as we realise that avoidance really isn’t the way to go about things. In fact, such a strategy kills evolution. Stumps growth.
Change never happens when you’re happily ensconced within your comfort zone. You know that. Change only happens when you venture outside of those safe, familiar walls. Afterall, undertaking something completely different is merely symbolic. What it really means is that you’re rocking the status quo. You’ve decided to not settle for mediocrity and blending in with the rest of the herd.
All of which can feel SCARY, upper cases fully justified. Scary brings with it trepidation, resistance and self doubt. And that feels sorely uncomfortable.
What I’m saying is I knew I had to get out there and frighten the pants off myself, metaphorically speaking. I knew I absolutely had to take the risk. Face the fear and wing it. I mean, what’s the worse thing that could happen? (1) have a panic attack and hyperventilate? (2) be laughed and jeered at by onlookers? (3) loose my pants, literally?
I knew that staying within my comfort zone wasn’t at all a safe move, but rather, a huge mistake because it’s not safe at all. Why? It’s not safe because I’d be risking a lifetime of merely existing instead of actually living. I’d be gambling with my life, and I only have one to live.
The bottom line is if I’m serious about growing and being a better version of me, I simply have to get comfortable about feeling uncomfortable.
I knew that if I was willing to that, the only limitation I’d have would be self-imposed. That I’d be able to apply this to other aspects of my life and transform, well, practically everything. Work. Relationships. Goals. I could (finally) have the kind (and quality) of life I really crave and deserve.
Isn’t that something worth feeling a little uncomfortable for?
Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps.
p/s my photos by Sofia Touassa
I link up here.