Yes, we do sabotage ourselves.
And, often, without even realising it.
My husband insists I’m afraid of success. I’m adamant he’s not making any sense. I pour myself into every endeavour. Heart. Mind. Soul. And shoot for the stars. For instance, when I was creating jewellery, I counted Courtney Love Cobain as well as The Veronicas and Kat Von D as regular clients.
During those 15 odd years of being in the PR industry, I worked on campaigns for Panerai, Loewe, Anna Sui Cosmetics, Jaeger-LeCoultre, Poltrona Frau, Veuve Clicquot, Sally Hansen NY, Dr Scholl, Tag Heuer, Krug and Hugo Boss.
So what was he talking about, I demanded, indignantly!!
Yes, the man responded, but do you also remember when Bergdorf Goodman asked to see samples of your designs, and you freaked out to the point of not even responding? Or that time when the email arrived from Bloomingdale’s, inviting you to come over and present your collection to their buyers? You literally turned green and almost passed out, refusing to reply?
Errr. Right. I’d forgotten about that. Clearly, he hadn’t.
THE ENEMY WITHIN
That’d be me, apparently.
I am my very own worse enemy.
But then again, aren’t we all, for the most part?
Self-sabotage. Or, as Gay Hendricks calls it in his book The Big Leap, the upper limit problem. Some call it resistance. Others (colloquially), upleveling. Call it whatever you like, I’m fairly certain we’ve all experienced a variation of this in our lives. Yet why is that?
From where I’m standing, I believe that when you achieve (or are close t0 achieving) success beyond anything you’ve ever experienced, or when you begin to take decided steps towards something you desire, one of two things will happen. Either you do ultimately reach that goal, and celebrate the accomplishment. Or (and more commonly), you’ll upper limit.
WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS UPPER LIMITING, YOU ASK
Here’s how I view things. To accomplish more than you’ve ever known, you have to become a different person. Physically, mentally, emotionally. If your unconscious mind believes you don’t deserve that success, or that it isn’t even possible, you WILL self-sabotage. I guarantee it.
You see, from birth up until around the age of 8, we make decisions about who we are based on what we’ve learned, and mostly from our parents. Much like a computer (my techie man would be so proud of me for drawing this parallel), we “download” our beliefs, emotions, and thoughts into us as software, if you like. These then set the parameters to define how much love, success, wealth and happiness we believe we
can have deserve. With this “operating system“, we embark into the great unknown, and so, armed with big dreams that our unconscious minds aren’t necessarily compliant with, little wonder we walk straight into rigid resistance. Our bodies strain against that which they are not accustomed to.
In other words, we resist what we desire (and aspire) because we’re chemically addicted to the status quo. To the person we’ve always been.
Of course, there are ways to go about this, thank heavens. There are indeed techniques proven to work with that part of us which is holding us back from success. As long as we’re willing to do the work, we can achieve whatever it is our heart desires. We really can. And I’ll share some of what I try to implement in the hopes of silencing that naysayer in my mind (although that’s a tale for another time). After all, at the end of the day, it’s Sheela vs Sheela (or rather, you versus you), yes?
I expect the path may be a smidge smoother to travel once we accept that it shan’t be an easy journey. That the more aware we are of identifying those triggers which are liable to hold us back, the better prepared we will be to face resistance. And, ultimately, the more adept we will be at modifying ourselves to new circumstances.
Am I making sense?
As you ponder (and, hopefully, leave an opinion), do link-up?
p/s photos by Sofia Touassa
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