You, Me, Her.
All women everywhere.
Let me preface by giving credit where it’s due. This post is completely inspired by what Catherine wrote about the competitive world of (younger) bloggers and how that “dog eat dog” spirit is, for the most part, absent from the community of over 40s (and above) bloggers. What you’re about to read is my take on women, how I’ve seen women behave around and treat each other, and how we could potentially be. This piece is in praise of every single female out there.
I often hear “women are our own worst enemies” in terms of our culture. I’m tired of that argument. I think everyone is their own worst enemy, and I don’t think it’s about something women have specifically against each other. I’ve been in close proximity with quite a few women in my life, both professionally and personally, and those experiences have (largely) left me optimistic, grateful, and humble. Of course, this isn’t a fairy tale so yes, I’ve been screwed over by females in business and in love, and in truth, I’ve probably screwed over a few myself. But those enemy-making moments were the results of bumbling, struggling, flawed humanness, not ovaries or hormones.
But in general, my experience is this.
WOMEN ADORE OTHER WOMEN
Women shake their cosmic pom poms for each other. They really do. Go sister go!! How many times has a girlfriend told you, that you got it going on, before you head out the door or the dressing room? That even though your new haircut makes you look like a mushroom, your ass is on fire. They’ll be looking at your ass all night, not your hair. Really, you’re hot. Just keep your hat on and don’t sit down.
A woman makes a cup of her heart. She carries your concerns and fears with you, for you. When your eyes fill up with teary news, so do hers. It happens with women you’ve known for years, with women you just met at the grocery store, in the ladies room. She carries your story with her. She mixes honey with it and re-tells it to you, and then gently (or sometimes not so gently, in the name of tough love) points out how great you’re doing, despite everything, and because of everything.
Women bare their fangs for you when the need arises. Like that time when your bestie threatened to put her ciggy out between dude’s eyebrows if he didn’t leave us alone. Remember? He walked, we rocked.
Women feed each other. Literally and figuratively. Think of all the meetings or retreats you’ve been to. Who brings the cocoa and sparkling water? Who remembers that you’re lactose intolerant? Who asks you if you have everything you need? Or if you’ve even remembered to eat something that day?
A woman will sacrifice without calling it a sacrifice. Enough said.
Women hold on. It’s like Audrey Hepburn said, “Never throw anyone out.” We never kick anybody off the bus (unless they slept with our significant others or hurt our children), and always find that one good quality inside everyone.
Women bypass history. A good sister listens to you bitch about the same ass*** for years, she helps you pack when you’re smart enough to leave, and she stands by you when you repeat the same lesson with the next emotionally lame lover. She loves you enough to let you do things your way, again, and again, like it was the first time, and will always be there with ice cream by the buckets, to help pick up the pieces.
No drama is too big. A woman howls to help you remember what matters the most. She loves you enough to intervene. She will drag you out of your comfort zone and into the moonlight to say “What the fuck are you doing? You may have temporarily forgotten who you are, but I haven’t and I’m here to remind you.” She is your biggest fan, your most ardent and loyal supporter, your #1 champion but also the one who helps you stay sane and maintain perspective.
Women touch you. Again, figuratively and literally. She doesn’t shy away from PDAs and will give you that squeeze on the shoulder you need. That hug you’ve been craving but didn’t even know it yet. She will wrap you up with all the physical contact and love and support you need.
Women push. Push babies. Push thoughts. Push ideas. Push boundaries. Push for change. Push. Push. Push.
Women know how to navigate the layers because they love the layers. Folds of skin, the sediments of time, the stories that build into the present. Not only do they acutely remember what we love and treasure, but why we love and treasure that which we hold close to our hearts. They’re interested in who we are, and why we are.
WHICH BRINGS ME RIGHT DOWN TO TODAY'S POST
Black Crochet Lace Kimono Cardigan, gifted (Lularoe, option, option) | B&W Tuxedo Pants (Daily Look, option, option) | Embellished Leather Collar (option, option) | Tank Top (option, option) | Clutch (Derek Lam, option, option) | B&W Booties (option, option)
You probably already knew this but just in case you didn’t, I’m a ginormous proponent of not just promoting all things positive for women, but also highlighting the not so positive issues, in the hopes of bringing about awareness, understanding and acceptance. Regardless of the topic. And part of doing that is supporting my fellow females, and helping in any manner possible to spread empowerment, self confidence, self love, and self worth. Which is why I’m so pleased to be wearing something from Lularoe for this post. Everything Lularoe stands for resonates SO strongly with me, and I couldn’t be prouder to showcase one of my fave pieces from their line.
What about you?
How do you show love to your fellow females?
And don’t forget to link-up now.
Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps.
p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa
I link up here.
This is an awesome post. You’re so right, negativity about the minority of annoyances, dislikes, tarnishes and etc which we sometimes feel with other women makes us forget how powerful and amazing they are on the whole. It’s typical of the way media works – good news, love, and amazing women just doesn’t seem to be what sells *insert commercial platform here*. I always leave your blog with food for thought – Thanks for that. I love some substance to my blog stalking expeditions. It’s rarer than it once was and more refreshing in a way for it. Have a great week and thanks again for hosting!!
Such a great read. With all the negativity around it is so good to see a fresh and enlightened perspective on things. You only ever hear about women being catty to each other lately it seems. Loving your shoes by the way!
This is quite a mindful discussion and your observations are well taken. As usual, you look fabulous.
Thank you for giving me something good to read on the Saturday morning!
So right on these points Sheela. I will be taking a look at this brand and what they stand for. I did wonder why my pc was snowing! Love that! Spot on style as always ! x
Great post Sheela. Leider fehlen mir die englischen Worte zu einem guten englischen Kommentar. Ich liebe die Sicht die Du auf Frauen hast. Und genau das ist toll. Ich arbeite hauptsächlich mit Frauen zusammen und wir unterstützen und mögen uns alle.Keine Zickereien. Nein gar nicht. Respekt, Wertschätzung und Unterstützung trifft es gut.
I wish you a nice weekend, Tina
Great writing and post.
Personally I’ve been seriously let down by some women that were particularly close to me and it has left me scarred and jaded. As much as we like to think we don’t carry that baggage around I think it is still there under the surface and I am more than a bit wary and guarded.
Love your positivity though!
You look amazing XOXO!! #linkupwithlisa @ http://www.beauty101bylisa.com/2016/12/linkupwithlisa-78-houndstooth-blanket.html
Some good points Sheela, I never knew bloggers were so competitive. I’ve never really met many bloggers so I missed all this. Lovely outfit, you boots are amazing!! Thnaks for sharing at the weekend blog hop
I enjoy reading your write up and this one is of no exception. I pray will all come together to help each other out. Love your outfit
Love this! I love how women can be our best friends and even when they are stubborn or hard to reach we still look out for one another. Looking great Sheela, now to link up.
And this is why I adore the way you are and the way you word things. I am from the bunch of women that probably have been more hurt by them than nurtured, expect for an exceptional few that keep me hoping exactly what your post delineates. xoxo
Love this post! Thank you for another great read XOXO.
#linkupwithlisa @ http://www.beauty101bylisa.com/2016/12/linkupwithlisa-78-houndstooth-blanket.html
I’m so happy you’re a woman in my life.
Really Sheela. I’m really, really happy.