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Comments 7

I Resolve To

Not make resolutions.

It’s a recipe for immediate disaster.


I’m fully aware that this is all psychological.

And that calling a rose by any other name doesn’t make it any less than what it actually is, a rose.  That said, over countless years of drawing up list upon list of resolutions (and failing dismally to fulfill any), this MO seems to work better for me.  This renaming of resolutions as intentions.  Or desires.  Or to dos.  When I peg them as resolutions, my mind instantly conjures up the first day of a new year.  And that’s precisely how long those resolutions are remembered.  24 hours (if I’m lucky).  It’s as though if they’re called resolutions (or goals), they become more like, well, wishes.  And hopes.  Not focused, determined commitments to achieve or acquire (or rid oneself of) things that are of immense value, tangible as well as non tangible.



Is it the very same with you? 

Or am I essentially writing a truckload of poppycock?

At times, I wonder, you know.

If anyone’s reading what I write at all.

Or am I regurgitating my thoughts to none but myself.


Regardless, however you may call them, here are my intentions for the new year (and hopefully beyond).


In my peak, two years ago, I was able to go from an hour of boxing or Muay Thai to an hour of intense Zumba and finish off with an hour of crossfit.  I want 2017 to be the year when I can reclaim that fitness level.

Lower my BMI by another 10 to 12%.

Shed those last 20lbs.

Add up to 35% lean muscle mass.

Go back to boxing and Muay Thai.  I’d been doing those for a steady three years before I had knee surgery in October 2014.

Stop seeing an elephant each time I look in the mirror, and celebrate that I’ve lost 55lbs in the last eight months, and acknowledge what a major accomplishment that was.

Recognise (and accept) that (the occasional) indulging in wheat and gluten and dairy and eggs is simply out of the question.  Having a wee bit of a sweet treat now then paying for it with a 9-day course of Prednisone is truly not worth it.

Cease griping about my food intolerances (gluten, wheat, dairy, eggs, most greens, many spices and condiments, several fruits, anything containing cow’s milk, nuts), and just deal.  And be thankful that I can still eat meat and seafood and spuds and rice.

Acknowledge that it’s quite alright to make myself a priority at times.

Learn to love myself because I am more than what I think I am.




Stop nagging them so much.  Stop nagging, period.  It makes life unpleasant for all.

Don’t just show them I love them.  Tell them I love them, and frequently.

Be a better stepmother to my two sons.  Work harder at being their friend.

Resist the urge to implode into a frenzied panic attack should the kitchen not be sparkling clean and/or dinner isn’t the sumptuous spread I’d envisioned.  Shit happens.  Life (and work) get in the way, and plans change.  It’s not the end of the world.  And it certainly doesn’t make me less of a parent/wife if I use Door Dash once in a while.

Resist also the urge to try and be what I think is the perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect person.  That doesn’t exist.  It isn’t real.  And it isn’t healthy.

Spend as much time with Eve as possible before she goes away to university in the Fall (sob).

Spend as much time with my husband as possible because tomorrow is not promised.

Appreciate him for the amazing man he is (snores, grunts, klutziness et al) who, for some unfathomable reason, loves me for what I am (faults, grumpiness, bitching et al).

Let loose a little.  Chill.  Relax.  It’s all good.


Work (Blog/Day Job)

Stop being afraid of success.

Enough of the self-sabotage.

Embrace my strengths and use them.

Appreciate the independence my daytime job has given me to pursue my love of writing and the freedom to grow this blog.

Get better at working with others.

Learn to plan better so I don’t always have to fly by the seat of my pants.

Understand that deadlines are meant to be met, not missed.

And stop being my own worse critic.

And that’s it.

For now.

What’s on your list of “must accomplish” this year?

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.





  1. robjodiefilogomo says

    First, I have to say that I love your quote on the sidebar, girlfriend! It’s short & sweet and to the point!
    I’ve have to admit that I’ve never been good at resolutions or goals. I know even as a dentist, all of the consultants would tell you to write down goals…blah, blah, blah! I know that I’m silly to think that if I just do my best, things will end up working out. But truly, in my heart, that’s how I feel.
    As for your other points, I’d like to say you’re just not whistling Dixie!! Did you know that my maiden name is Nagy? Funny, huh? And trust me, I’m sure that anyone who knows me well, will say that I lived up to it.
    But I have to think that either retirement or age has mellowed me somewhat. I’ve given up on making sure the house is perfect & clean, and that everything has to be planned to a tee. Now, don’t get me wrong, my ducks still get in a frenzy at times.
    But I do think that losing many close friends to death, has given me the realization that life is too short to stress over those unimportant things.
    And there’s my favorite jacket on your back! Thanks for allowing me to drool over it again!!


  2. Love your outfit! I love your idea for no resolutions. You are so right, after the first 24 hours they are forgotten. My “goals” are to buy a pair of shorts this year, be more patient, and not be so harsh on myself as a parent, blogger, etc etc. wonderfully written . Happy new year!


  3. Happy New Year gorgeous!

    I’m with you on “no resolutions”. Why set yourself up to fail? I figure if I truly wanted to change something I wouldn’t need to wait till Jan 1 to do it.

    This year I’ve decided my “hope” is to focus on nurturing the friendships and relationships I have. I don’t want to try to buy happiness with things. Memories are made from experiences, not things.

    Congrats on your massive weight loss BTW!

    Please pop your entire outfit in my closet when you’re done. I’d like to borrow all of it : )



  4. Exactly. Just cut it out with the resolutions. That’s like setting yourself up for failure, even dumber.
    Meanwhile….. Happy new year!!!!


  5. Goddesslily says

    Well I love that dress and I just had an inspiration on what to make with some fabric I saw but didn’t purchase. I would make your dress but with a victorian lace sort of feel. I was shopping fabric and saw some black/red lacey fabric but didn’t get it because I couldn’t think of what I would make with it…. now I know!


  6. Ya, resolutions are tricky. Last year, I tried to set myself up with goals and I didn’t do well with those either. I like your intentions and they’ve given my a few ideas for challenges I intend to set for myself this year. Congratulations on the weightloss and other physical improvements you made last year and I’ll be cheering you on as you continue in these pursuits. Your outfit is divine and thank you for adding your post to my Fine-Whatever link up.



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