ootd, style
Comments 23

Is It Black, White Or Grey?

A simple question.

How do you set your standards?


How do you define your ethics?  Determine whether something is black or white?  And when does grey come into play?  Let me briefly explain.



It had to do with that unholy triad.

You know, trademark, money, and, well, blatant stupidity.


Anyway, that unpleasant incident led to a series of conversations between me, myself and I, as we extensively dissected ways and means in which we would could handle the protagonist whom I shall call PITA (pain in the ass).

The following thoughts were raised:-

>  PITA started out as a groupie.  A major fan.  So that means she must have a good heart underneath all that, well, nasty back-stabbing bitchiness.  Right?

>  Maybe she truly doesn’t know what she’s doing is illegal?

>  Yes, PITA acted in very poor taste.  She was unethical, to say the least, but perhaps, just perhaps it was unintentional?

>  Or, dare I say, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery?


On and on went my internal debate.  I discussed at length, with myself, those things we coin as grey zones.  Loopholes.  Legalities.  Ethics.

I mean, perhaps what seemed to me as being an act of dishonesty may very well have simply been a misunderstanding?  Perhaps I misconstrued the intent?  Made much ado about nothing?  And, in the process, created a mountain out of naught but a molehill?



I thought the easiest way to put an end to this debate was to pose this question to myself, “Would I ever do to someone else what PITA tried to do to me?

And the answer was a resounding, “NO!

“Never!!  No way!!  Not!!”

Well then, I said declared to myself, this is truly unethical behaviour.

What PITA did.


Black Lace Gown (Monique Lhuillier) | Colour Block Fur Coat (vintage) | Velvet Peep Toe Booties (Bakers) | Spiked Lip Clutch (Lulu Guinness) | Choker (Manic Panic NYC)

Listen.  Forget what society terms as the legal “grey area“.  Don’t be swayed for formalities or policies.  By the wide expanse of cultural or moral codes.  I say look behind the manoeuvre to decipher the intent.  And then call it out for what it is.  Tacky, nasty, greedy, desperate, vengeful, parasitic, shady, immoral, or just plain wrong.  According to who?  According to you.  And that’s the only voice that matters.

When you are in a position wherein you must question the motive behind someone’s actions, ask yourself, “Is this something I would do?

The answer will guide you forward.

And yes, this is what I wore to the debutante ball I talked about last week.

And now, on a far more lighthearted note, I am SO thrilled to be co-hosting Thursday Fashion Files with Jill at Doused in Pink and Carrie at Curly Crafty Mom.  I’ve long been fans of both ladies, and couldn’t wait to sign up to be a co-host.


Welcome to Thursday Fashion Files!

Welcome to Thursday Fashion Files with Jill at Doused in Pink and Carrie at Curly Crafty Mom! We are excited to have you here and would love to have you link up one of your latest outfits with us.

We are always looking for Co-Hosts for Thursday Fashion Files. If you haven’t signed up to Co-Host, but are interested, sign up by clicking HERE.

We now have a Thursday Fashion Files Pinterest board. We will be pinning our top two picks along with our own outfits for that week. Be sure to click HERE to join our new Pinterest board!

Thursday-Fashion-Files-650-graphic_Spring2016Follow Jill:


Follow Carrie:

Bloglovin’FacebookTwitterInstagramGoogle+, Pinterest, SnapChat: @curlycraftymom

Link Up Guidelines:

1. Feel free to grab our button to display on your blog sidebar. Help spread the word and share about our link up community.
2. Follow your hosts. Leave a comment letting us know you are a new follower and we will be sure to follow back.

3. Share the love by visiting and commenting to at least three other blogs in the link up.

Guest Co-Host:


Sheela from Sheela Writes is our co-host this week. 


Now let’s get linking!

An InLinkz Link-up

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.


  1. Liz says

    Oh no! I’m sorry to hear that this happened, but it seems like it does way too often. You’re right. When someone does something, it’s up to you to decide if it was wrong. I hope everything gets resolved soon. Positive vibes to you!



  2. I sympathize with your feelings. All to often we will find people who, in the belief that they are acting in their own best interest, are harming others. That harm can run a gambit from reputation to financial to psyche. BTW, you look fabulous.



  3. robjodiefilogomo says

    I’m one of those who tends to give the PITA (we used that synonym at my office, too LOL) the benefit of the doubt but usually ask why they did whatever!! Only because I know I’ve done things a certain way and was misconstrued in the process.
    But there are “bad” people everywhere! Luckily there are also good ones in abundance! 🙂
    ps…guess what we were taking photos of today???? I’ll give you a hint: Red &….


  4. laurieopop says

    Oh, this dress is beautiful! And, oh, what a topic!
    LauriePOP Ideas That POP


  5. And now I am left behind with the question: what the f…has she done then??? Oh well, I rather look at your beautiful outfit! Gorgeous Lady!


  6. love your outfit! Sorry to hear about the person who’s been doing shady deeds toward you – not cool! Hope you get it sorted xx


  7. shelbeeontheedge1 says

    Oh my. I have serious issues with violations of ethics as well! I was recently asked by a friend, “But who makes these rules?” Not wanting to sound selfish or all high-and-mighty myself, I was hesitant to answer, “Well, I do. These are my values. My morals. And I am very passionate about upholding them and staying true to them.” But on the other hand, the issue in question at that moment had nothing to do with me nor would it affect my life and if the doer had no ethical issue, then I guess it is not for me say what is right and wrong. For that person. Maybe. But still. It all felt wrong. I don’t know. Ethics truly are a sticky wicket. I suppose that is why it is been a topic for debate for literally all of time. I hope you are able to resolve your ethical issue. And yes, you do look amazing in this gown. And that jacket is simply fabulous. You are fabulous.



  8. I’m sorry you’re dealing with such a PITA! I am a big believer in karma, so if you keep your head up and act with kindness, good things will come back around. And as for that PITA, well…. karma will do onto her, as well. Thanks for linking up!


  9. I’m a believer in what comes around, goes around and hope that this gets resolved for you!

    Your gown is gorgeous and I’m obsessed with your vintage coat! You look stunning! So glad to have you co-host with us today! Have a wonderful weekend!

    Doused In Pink


  10. jennie1969 says

    Oh, Sheela. I am so sorry to read what you have been going through. I know I lean towards giving people the benefit of the doubt, but have been striving to speak up for myself more even if it makes me uncomfortable.

    You look so gorgeous. I just love this beautiful dress and am glad we got to see more of that incredible jacket.


  11. I add another question which we should asked ourselves before any action: Would I be happy if someone this to me, what I’m going to do to someone? I saw many actions where people obviously didn’t consider how it would be, if the situation would be reverse. Thank you for PITA word.o) I’m going to incorporate it to my vocabulary. And last but not least… this dress is gorgeous! Thank you for linking up with My Red Carpet.

    Anna xoxo


  12. Pingback: Boho maxi dress and LINK UP | The glam adventure

  13. Ugh, wtf is wrong with people sometimes, man? Hoping this gets resolved + you can put it to rest soon.

    However, you look pretty fabulous here, doll- loving this look!

    Le Stylo Rouge


  14. People are pretty much all a**holes. Clench your teeth, plod on and continue to look gorgeous. Remember we’re with you, gorgeous!


  15. No Fear of Fashion says

    I am sorry someone did you wrong. That causes a lot of heartaches and anger. Your explanation of how to assess this, is totally valid (in my opinion).
    What a rotten experience while showing such a beautiful gown. You looked superb.


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