We can learn, you know.
Learn from the PYT set, learn a lot.
Yes, I’m talking about them pretty young things who are half my age. Now when I call you competitive here, I don’t mean malicious or vicious or mean (I love you, ladies!!!). Quite the contrary, actually. And it’s certainly not a sweeping statement meant to stereotype all females belonging to that age group. To be clear, this post is specifically inspired by a group of young women I recently met in Dallas. By their mannerisms and how they conducted themselves. Indeed, it was my reaction to seeing how they behaved that spawned what you’re reading now.
Melodramatic much, you say? Perhaps.
It was just the air with which they carried themselves.
VERY AGGRESSIVE, VERY BOLD
Each one determined to own their five seconds of fame.
To be the most vocal (I’m referencing volume of speech, not quality thereof). The most flamboyant peacock in the room. I was easily the oldest in the summit (I accept this as the new norm) but there was a considerably large group of influencers in their 30s as well, none of whom were anywhere as forthright as the 20-somethings.
At the risk of sounding archaic, I’ve reached that point in my life whereby I’m (no longer) about being blatantly in someone’s face. I’ve seen enough to understand that subtlety often wins the day. Unless, of course, I’m at the gym, in which case, all bets are off.
Which triggered a Eureka moment (I like drawing parallels, do you like discovering parallels?).
How different is the world of blogging compared to the world of working out?
Not much really.
THINK OF IT THIS WAY
The younger ones at the gym go at it, headlong, generally without a thought for potential consequences (pulled muscles, the heavier/faster/longer the better) because they feel invincible and all powerful. And truth be told, they are in the sense that they heal much faster, they rebound loads quicker. And neither caution nor fear exist in their fitness vocabulary.
Now compare that to older gym rats (me).
We approach exercising with the mentality that it’s form above all. That it’s not so much how heavy you can lift, it’s how you lift it. And hold it. Subscribing to the mantra of not just brute strength but also endurance, tempered with a modicum of savviness brought about by maturity, experience and age (yes, I’m playing that card). All of which come together to create a workout with minimal injury, albeit displaying results at a slower pace.
I feel that’s how we tend to approach life, work, people. With subtlety and a gentle (albeit nonetheless driven) hand. Although, I suspect, we can learn a lot from the younger ones. And that, in a roundabout fashion, is the heart of today’s bit of soul sharing.
That absence of trepidation and caution (which they display with an air of utter effortlessness), is often a recurring obstacle for many of us, serving only to hinder and restrain. Prohibiting us from forging forward and walking the untrodden path. Reminding us that the occasional act of throwing caution to the wind isn’t necessarily foolish but, at times, vital to personal growth, and living a life we love.
Personally, my biggest takeaway from meeting these ladies was a sense of liberation. Yes, liberation. Because in watching them, I realised how I’ve lived my life – fearfully.
Fear of not being enough (smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, rich enough).
Fear of being vulnerable.
Fear of being rejected.
Fear of failing.
FEAR WAS CONTROLLING ME
Outfit & Boots (c/o Forever21) | Embroidered Velvet Clutch (Zara) | Rings & Oversized Sunnies (Poshmark) | Red Leather Cuff (c/o Unearthed) | Lipstick (22 @ Kylie Cosmetics)
I shan’t get into the nitty gritty details but suffice to say I know what it means to allow fear to dictate one’s every decision. After my encounter with these ladies, I’ve been slowly and (most certainly) deliberately rewiring my core beliefs. Reframing my fears. Renaming them, even, and working towards eventually releasing them. And releasing myself.
I firmly believe that doing so will completely transform my world. Resolve past trauma. Fall in love with the person I was meant to be, and step into the future I’ve been dreaming about.
Do you think it’ll work?
Would you do it yourself?
Love, Sheela
p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa
I link up here.
Sheela Writes 
I sometimes wish that I was as wise as I am now but in my younger body! Can I move on to those boots now! Oh wow! xx
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The funny thing is I don’t think I could do some of these things when I was younger….to much insecurity and not knowing.
But age brings so much wisdom—or something!! And learning from the youngsters is just one of those things!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
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I know exactly what you mean here. The younger blogger generation is so much more vocal and more assertive. I am an introvert(majorly) and so for me it is hard to get passed that quiet guard. Even at the GYM I was avoid of making any eye contact. But now that I blog I am getting more assertive and dancing like no one is looking(especially since I take my own photos.)
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I feel that at the end of my life, I will finally be the person I always wanted to be!
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Thanks for joining the Top of the World Style linkup party. Great look. Your shoes are so stunning.
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Oooh I really like the parallel you drew there with the working out. I definitely know what you mean. I think I am at an “in-between” stage, as I’m not always jumping into things, nor am I too fearful. I guess there is an even greater takeaway – never be stagnant, always rework and reframe and reevaluate! That’s how you become the best version of yourself!
–Roxanne
http://glassofglam.com
p.s. – Your boots are insanely chic.
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Great parallel with working out, Sheela and as a Pilates teacher, those words you write ‘it’s form above all’ is music to my ears. I teach at a gym and often I have to keep looking straight ahead, not left, not right because I know what I see some of the young gym rats doing will make the hair on the top of my head stand up in horror!
Yes, we could certainly learn alot from our younger colleagues – their energy, their drive but I wonder if some of the aggression you mentioned doesn’t just mask a whole heap of insecurity. Just because someone is loud doesn’t mean they are worth listening too! But it’s always good to assess and reevaluate your core beliefs and yes, fear can be so crippling and stop us from achieving our true potential. I so know this to be true this last year and for me, it will be a life long journey of learning to overcomes certain ones but it will be worth it as your journey will. Stick at it!
Of course, the flip side to this is that our younger friends could learn a few tricks us oldies have come to master! Maybe a blogger there, learn a valuable lesson from you.
Delicious boots and I’m loving the pattern mixing of your outfit.
I’ve been away too long and missed your writing. It’s good to reconnect with you. xx
https://petitesilvervixen.blogspot.co.uk/
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What a great post! So many interesting insights and I can definitely identify with them. I am very shy in person so I am not one to be assertive or try to be center of attention (only with my clothing haha!). Definitely trying to grow in this area though because I feel that it’s important. With that being said, your outfit is AMAZING. You look insanely chic!
Liz
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
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I just have to say I love the red hair…welcome to the red hair club!! I will go on to say I tots understand what you mean and use that inspiration to drive me further and think of myself as a more mature version of them.
http://the-wardrobe-stylist.com/2017/11/21/wedding-decoration-ideas/
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Sheela thank you for linking up with tinaspinkfriday. I love your bag and you look amazing.
XO Tina
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Really loved this heartfelt post, hun! I wish I’d started blogging when I was a little younger, to be honest. I sometimes feel like I was a little late to the game to begin with! I think that years ago I used to care a lot more about what people thought, and I’d let my introvert nature get the best of me! Hope you’re well, and thank you for sharing, lovely. xoxo
Kay
http://shoesandglitter.com
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What a fabulous approach to take, my dear friend! And I believe you have hit the nail squarely on the head. Fearful living is no way to live at all. Fearlessness will win the day! But always with the tiniest bit if caution. Caution protects and saves us, fearlessness drives us forward! Go forward and be who you were meant to be. Fierce, fearless, and freaking fabulous!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
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