Going Goth

Aka the “It’s Not You, It’s Me” post. 

Once upon a time in Houston, Sheela got pissed with WordPress.  And the damn phone because it kept dinging with alerts.  Merrily.  Repeatedly.  All the damn time.  Driving her up the (proverbial) wall.

And that isn’t even the crux of today’s post. 

Just a wee digression of aggression. 

I love a good pun, I love a bad one even more GRIN hello my friends, thank you for stopping by today.  I’m going off on a new look and feel (or rather, approach) to blogging.  It’s subtle though so I am wondering if you see it.

This time last week, I was at FierceCon2018. Catherine’s baby.  A haven wherein women (and a few men) congregated to share and motivate.  To connect.  Inspire and be inspired.  To find a sister.  Or tribe.  Both.

Give me a little time to gather my thoughts, and I will tell you ALL about it.  What I was privileged to hear.  The stories told by truly brave souls.  Things I’ve become aware of ever since.  Things I’ve learned about myself and the people around me.  Understanding how they’ve touched me, and being better able to discern if their presence in my life is positive. Or not.

Mostly discovering, or should I say, being reminded (albeit with a gentle kick in the ass) that everyone has been through their own private hell. Everyone has had some sort of battle to fight.  We all have someone we have to forgive.  Someone we’d never ever want to see ever again (perhaps even have fashioned a voodoo doll in their likeness, like, cough, I used to do).  And that absolutely nothing is what it seems to be.  Absolutely nothing is as picture perfect as it appears.

I know this isn’t new news at all.  But, you see, most (if not all) of us frequently lose sight of these sort of observations as we plod along.  Managing.  Settling.  Existing.  Therefore, when those brilliant flashes of the obvious hit us like so, it’s quite the necessary thump between the eyes.

A “Hello!!  Wake up already!!” thump.

You’re not alone.

You’re not unique in your pain.

You’re not alone.

You can find solace.


And why is today’s post entitled thus?  Because while everyone was raving on about how they were loving the energy and vibe, I was standing in my corner (with my babe who was, thankfully, there to keep this very socially awkward woman company) wondering what they were talking about.  Like WTF is this “energy” you’re talking about?  I don’t feel any energy.  I just see loads of people, and hear a lot of noise, and my feet hurt from these 5″ heels.

It made me acutely aware that, in truth, it doesn’t matter where you are.  What event you’re at.  Or motivational workshop you’re attending.  If you’re not consciously opening yourself up to receiving, you’re just wasting your time.  And everyone else’s, for that matter.  That’s when I realised that it wasn’t them, it was me.  It’d been me all along.  I was my own barrier.

You must be open to lowering your walls.  Bringing those shields down.  And be ready to absorb.  Take in as much as you can.  Whether you call it energy or positivity, you need to consciously decide to open the door, and let it in.  I choose to call mine LIGHT and this time, at FierceCon2018, I chose to let LIGHT in. 

And I am continuing to choose to let LIGHT in.

Now to The Fab 40s.

From the oh so fabulous throwback to the 90s to a slightly more goth-gone-to-work approach, take a look at our individual renditions of this month’s theme.  Goth.

Go on.  Scroll down.

Tell me what you think.

Suzy, Pixie Chick In Portugal

Dungarees for Goth.  That’s not something you hear very often.  And certainly not what I was expecting to see when Suzy sent over her photo (she picked the theme for this month, by the by) but bowled over I certainly was.  She looks beyond amazing.  A little Goth.  A little punk. A whole lotta rock n roll awesomeness all rolled into one incredibly cool lady.

Jennie, A Pocketful Of Polka Dots

I thought I was doing grown-up goth but Jennie has got me beat.  In spades.  Hands down.  Look at her.  Everything she’s wearing screams (elegantly) of poise and sensuality while hinting at her dark, mysterious if somewhat dangerous side that comes out to play every now and again.  During the month of October.  Or whenever someone picks Goth as the theme.

Shelbee, Shelbee On The Edge

Shelbee is true blue classic Goth today.  And while I do not share her fervour for Robert Smith (I was more into the punk goth/rock genre a la Morten Harket whom, incidentally, I was supposed to marry when I grew up but he missed that memo), I can certainly vocalise how much I adore her outfit especially how gentrified it is with the coat.  And that belt, oh my heart!!!

Daenel, Living Outside The Stacks

Even before reading Daenel’s cover email, my mind immediately thought of Wednesday Adams when I saw her outfit.  HOW FREAKING COOL IS SHE????  What a positively explosive way to kickstart your stint with The Fab 40s.  Essentially, you captured the essence of this month’s theme without even trying to, and that is golden.  Welcome to the fray, woman.

Mary, Curly Byrdie Chirps

One of the things I admire most about Mary is that regardless of what the month’s theme is, she always ALWAYS delivered an outfit that was infinitely Mary.  Feminine.  A touch of prep.  And very much body-flattering.  She knows how to work her curves and does it so even in a look that isn’t stereotypically Goth.  You go, girl!!  Slay, slay and slay some more.

Now comes one of the bestest bits of this collaboration between friends in their 40s, introducing a new guest blogger for the month.  Today, I am so delighted to present Lizzie of What Lizzie Loves

I’ve known of this lady for a long time now, and I was very excited to see how she would style Goth because if you take a look at her feed, Lizzie’s style couldn’t be the furthest being conspicuously dark, punk and sometimes morbid.  Consequently, when I saw her outfit, it instantly became #1 for me.  My fave.  The prettiness of Lizzie’s dress stays so close to her own aesthetics whilst the colour and the print (albeit done in a feminine fashion) only serve to affirm how spot on the overall outfit is.  Both in terms of being true to Lizzie as well as being in line with the theme for October. Brilliant, Lizzie, just brilliant.  So happy to have you with us.

Look at that.  Lizzie does Goth.  And fantabulously too.

And then there’s me.

In a genius of a pose, dreamt up by Michael.

Boo.  I see you.
Do you see me too?

Plaid Dress (thrifted ) | Swiss Dot Lace Top (Forever21) | Choker (ManicPanic NYC) | Boots (Make Me Chic) | Sunnies (Chanel) | Cuff (Loewe) | Maleficient & Crow Rings (my heart)

That’s it, friends.  I wonder what’s in store for next month.  Wait, whose turn is it for November again?

Love, Sheela

p/s I link up here.


16 Replies to “Going Goth”

  1. It is amazing how one weekend can make us feel so different. I always say that getting older is fabulous because we have all of these experiences to get more from. Yet all of those experiences aren’t good things. SO many of them were traumatic or bad. But if we didn’t have those, what would we have learned??
    As for your light—I’ve always seen it. It burns brightly even when you have your blinders on. And I love it…and you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Firstly Sheela – wow, those photos are amazing. I love the different angles and your inspiring style gives me much inspiration. Love the collaboration and would love to join you one time, (although I’m over fifty already). Do join the #chicandstylish #linkup on Thursday. Thanks for sharing Hun. Jacqui Mummabstylish

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gosh, Sheela, I kind of just want to hug you right now. And jump up and down whilst embracing you…because YES! It is about damn time that you have consciously decided to let the light in! Let it all in! You see, when you stand up tall and proud and allow the light to fill you to the very brim, it begins to overflow and that beautiful illuminating light that is yours begins to shine onto others. And what a wonderful sight that is to behold! Of course, you have rocked the Goth theme, Sheela-style. And while you may not share my not-so-secret-Robert-Smith-crush, I still adore you, my friend. Infinitely and always! And would you believe that it was my husband who added the coat to my outfit? I merely threw it on because it was damn freezing outside. He said to keep it draped over my shoulders for the photos. That was never my intention, but I quite like the way it turned out!

    Who IS up next? Not me. I’m December!


    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a fantastic post, and thank you so much for sharing. Even being part of the admin/set up team for FierceCon, my shields were up. Way, way up. It wasn’t until I was coming home on the plane, and the days after, that I realized what I had just experienced. It was pretty amazing. As are you. I’m so glad I was able to meet you on Friday night. And fabulous outfit, by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sheela, you never fail to amaze me – whether it be with your outfits, your beautiful photography or your blog posts. I just adore it all – every time! I did wonder how you would style the goth theme, and I knew it would be marvellous, regardless. That dress is divine and so are those shoes (which are just so damn punk goth!). As for letting the light in, I’m so glad that you’re finally allowing that to happen. I think I need to take a page out of your book a little more often and let a little more light in to my life too.
    Suzy xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Sheela, first of all thank you so much for your lovely compliments. You’re so right that I am the least punk/goth person I know!!!! I loved joining in and taking part with you fab Fab 40s ladies. You look absolutely incredible from top to toe. Those boots are spectacular and I love the textures throughout the whole outfit. And the photos are a work of art. Thank you so much for having me as your guest this month, love Lizzy xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sheela, there is so much to love here! I am stuck on those shoes {seriously, your shoe game cannot be matched}.

    Your photos are amazing!!

    Thank you all for the invite, I’m so happy to be joining you ladies.


  8. “Mostly discovering, or should I say, being reminded (albeit with a gentle kick in the ass) that everyone has been through their own private hell. Everyone has had some sort of battle to fight. We all have someone we have to forgive. Someone we’d never ever want to see ever again (perhaps even have fashioned a voodoo doll in their likeness, like, cough, I used to do). And that absolutely nothing is what it seems to be. Absolutely nothing is as picture perfect as it appears.”

    These auspicious words are reverberating in my head over… and over again. I mean, we all feel like we know these things. That we see them, but I couldn’t agree more with how quickly… and repeatedly we lose sight of them. It is so easy to allow things to become so muddled that the obvious is no longer… well, obvious. However, it is words like these, that gentle “thump between the eyes”, that makes someone realize how muddled they let things become. We are all guilty of this, but we should not let it consume us or hold us back.
    Sheela, you mentioned how you realized that you were the one preventing the energy or light from impacting you. I for one, am so glad that I was even there to see that realization dawn on you. To see the barrier wither and the light shine in. It was very inspiring to say the least. It always takes an immense amount of courage to openly acknowledge that you are the issue. that you are the barrier. With that self-awareness, comes the best type of freedom…. Enjoy it! Love it! Own It! After-all, You certainly deserve it! (Your blog constantly sends me into a state of introspection and allows me to realize that I myself am allowing my mind to become muddled and that I am keeping the barriers up that are preventing me from finding that comfortably and successfully.)

    Please keep posting… 🙂

    Best Wishes,
    – M


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