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Every Woman Out There & A Link-Up

You, Me, Her.

All women everywhere.

 

Let me preface by giving credit where it’s due.  This post is completely inspired by what Catherine wrote about the competitive world of (younger) bloggers and how that “dog eat dog” spirit is, for the most part, absent from the community of over 40s (and above) bloggers.  What you’re about to read is my take on women, how I’ve seen women behave around and treat each other, and how we could potentially be.  This piece is in praise of every single female out there.

I often hear “women are our own worst enemies” in terms of our culture.  I’m tired of that argument.  I think everyone is their own worst enemy, and I don’t think it’s about something women have specifically against each other.  I’ve been in close proximity with quite a few women in my life, both professionally and personally, and those experiences have (largely) left me optimistic, grateful, and humble.  Of course, this isn’t a fairy tale so yes, I’ve been screwed over by females in business and in love, and in truth, I’ve probably screwed over a few myself.  But those enemy-making moments were the results of bumbling, struggling, flawed humanness, not ovaries or hormones.

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But in general, my experience is this.

WOMEN ADORE OTHER WOMEN

Women shake their cosmic pom poms for each other.  They really do.  Go sister go!!  How many times has a girlfriend told you, that you got it going on, before you head out the door or the dressing room?  That even though your new haircut makes you look like a mushroom, your ass is on fire.  They’ll be looking at your ass all night, not your hair.  Really, you’re hot.  Just keep your hat on and don’t sit down.

A woman makes a cup of her heart.  She carries your concerns and fears with you, for you.  When your eyes fill up with teary news, so do hers.  It happens with women you’ve known for years, with women you just met at the grocery store, in the ladies room.  She carries your story with her.  She mixes honey with it and re-tells it to you, and then gently (or sometimes not so gently, in the name of tough love) points out how great you’re doing, despite everything, and because of everything.

Women bare their fangs for you when the need arises.  Like that time when your bestie threatened to put her ciggy out between dude’s eyebrows if he didn’t leave us alone.  Remember?  He walked, we rocked.

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Women feed each other.  Literally and figuratively.  Think of all the meetings or retreats you’ve been to.  Who brings the cocoa and sparkling water?  Who remembers that you’re lactose intolerant?  Who asks you if you have everything you need? Or if you’ve even remembered to eat something that day?

A woman will sacrifice without calling it a sacrifice. Enough said.

Women hold on.  It’s like Audrey Hepburn said, “Never throw anyone out.” We never kick anybody off the bus (unless they slept with our significant others or hurt our children), and always find that one good quality inside everyone.

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Women bypass history.  A good sister listens to you bitch about the same ass*** for years, she helps you pack when you’re smart enough to leave, and she stands by you when you repeat the same lesson with the next emotionally lame lover.  She loves you enough to let you do things your way, again, and again, like it was the first time, and will always be there with ice cream by the buckets, to help pick up the pieces.

No drama is too big.  A woman howls to help you remember what matters the most.  She loves you enough to intervene.  She will drag you out of your comfort zone and into the moonlight to say “What the fuck are you doing? You may have temporarily forgotten who you are, but I haven’t and I’m here to remind you.” She is your biggest fan, your most ardent and loyal supporter, your #1 champion but also the one who helps you stay sane and maintain perspective.

Women touch you. Again, figuratively and literally.  She doesn’t shy away from PDAs and will give you that squeeze on the shoulder you need.  That hug you’ve been craving but didn’t even know it yet.  She will wrap you up with all the physical contact and love and support you need.

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Women push.  Push babies.  Push thoughts.  Push ideas.  Push boundaries.  Push for change.  Push.  Push.  Push.

Women know how to navigate the layers because they love the layers.  Folds of skin, the sediments of time, the stories that build into the present.  Not only do they acutely remember what we love and treasure, but why we love and treasure that which we hold close to our hearts.  They’re interested in who we are, and why we are.

WHICH BRINGS ME RIGHT DOWN TO TODAY'S POST

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Black Crochet Lace Kimono Cardigan, gifted (Lularoe, option, option) | B&W Tuxedo Pants (Daily Look, option, option) | Embellished Leather Collar (option, option) | Tank Top (option, option) | Clutch (Derek Lam, option, option) | B&W Booties (option, option)

You probably already knew this but just in case you didn’t, I’m a ginormous proponent of not just promoting all things positive for women, but also highlighting the not so positive issues, in the hopes of bringing about awareness, understanding and acceptance.  Regardless of the topic.  And part of doing that is supporting my fellow females, and helping in any manner possible to spread empowerment, self confidence, self love, and self worth.  Which is why I’m so pleased to be wearing something from Lularoe for this post.  Everything Lularoe stands for resonates SO strongly with me, and I couldn’t be prouder to showcase one of my fave pieces from their line.

What about you?

How do you show love to your fellow females?

And don’t forget to link-up now.

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.

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The Fab 40s Go Grunge

Stripped down, cool.

Flipping the glamour narrative.

 

Anyone else recall Marc Jacob’s historic grunge collection in 1993 for Perry Ellis?  You know, the own which got him fired which, in turn, led to the conceptualisation and birth of Marc Jacobs, the brand we all know (and worship) today?  It was a ballsy move indeed.  Introducing a sartorial grammar so far removed from the excessive, maximalist life of debauchery of the time, that few understood any of the words uttered, let alone speak it.  A move filled with bravado, yes, and a significant one in the movement we now coin being “fashion mimicking the street“.  I’m fairly confident that concept is not new to most of us.

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For the next two decades, MJ’s radical grunge runway was emblematic of a collection-before-its-time, a raw, revolutionary response to what was a similarly raw decade.

R E N E G A D E    D R E S S I N G

The advent of youth culture (as grunge was called in those early days) arrived at the high tide of grunge, which ushered in a stripped-down, DIY approach to style.  Thrift stores replaced designer labels, flannel with its mighty powers of gender-bending drapery successfully ousted synthetics, and the phenomenal success of music icons (the likes of Nirvana, Courtney Love, Marilyn Manson, Missy Elliot) meant (al)most anything around them, from their sound to their distressed denim, was co-opted and crossed over.

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Taking fashion literally from the streets.

IT CONTINUES TO DO SO EVEN IN THIS PRESENT DAY

Both on and off the grunge stage.

Personally, I think the real appeal of going grunge is that one can (and quite liberally too) pull garments from both ends of a male as well a female wardrobe.  Double the closets, double the options, I always say, and I’d wager you’d agree with me too.  When it first gained traction, grunge as a style of dressing epitomised an air of indifference towards appearance, clothes, and, generally the material world.  In other words, it was characterised by carelessness, punctuated with comfort (yes, thank you), and easily recognised by details, by vibes which gave grunge outfits a worn-out in, relaxed (sloppy, at times) appearance.  Read: ripped jeans, thrift store treasures, oversized items of clothing, graphic tee shirts (more often than not with provocative and/or angsty statements), statement shoes (think combat boots), and that print we’ve all come to embrace, plaid.

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Over the time, grunge has evolved, and even branched out, if you could call it that, into several sub-genre looks.  I’m talking about indie grunge, neo grunge and glam grunge.

Neo grunge is essentially the same as the original, only polished, almost grown-up.  A fresh  interpretation that’s still slouchy and pared back but far more luxe, with a heavenly mix of glam touches, dark florals, and contrasting textures, working together to create a carefree, cool sight.

Glam grunge is feminine and sophisticated.  Polished but still plenty rebellious in nature.  Visual juxtapositions of long, sleek lines with rips in subtle, unexpected places.  Delicately frayed edges with sequins, metallic accents, a glint here, a sheen there.

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ALL WOMAN, ALL KICKASS

And there’s indie grunge (or hippie grunge), it stands out with its romantic, vintage vibe, yet completely exuding uptown aesthetics.  It evokes careful use of separates, in a moodier palette, messy frays, paired with denim or suede or wool, all put together with cool-girl styling.

AND THEN I CAME UP WITH THIS OUTFIT

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When Diane chose this theme, I knew immediately that I was going to attempt a glam grunge persona.  I’m simply not cool enough to do neo (and pull off that who-gives-a-f*** attitude) nor sufficiently bohemian to grab that indie grunge bull by the horns.  I thought of Courtney Love and Marc Jacob’s most recent collection (AW2016).  A visually arresting show wherein head-to-toe black gathered stream as the key colour direction, resulting in a moody goth-meets-romance-meets-glam grunge mélange.  Wherein he played with textures and layers (and brilliant accent colours) to elevate tonal ensembles, utilising lace, embellishment, and thoughtful juxtapositions of soft and hard to add depth and dimension.

I hope to have achieved that.  And now, my friends, please join the Fab 40s (and guest) in beholding our individual interpretations of this month’s theme, Grunge.

Ann, Kremb de la Kremb

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Diane, Fashion On The Fourth Floor

Fashion On The 4th Floor

Jennie, A Pocketful Of Polka Dots

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Mary, Curly Byrdie Chirps

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Sam, Fake Fabulous

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Veronica, CID Style File

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And now, please meet Sherry of Petite Over 40, our guest blogger for this month, and someone I absolutely adore for her mastery in not just putting together the most whimsy of outfits but the deft ability to massage and cajole the written word into lyrical prose.  Simply put, I adore how she dresses, and I adore how she writes.  Very much.

You will too once you go over to her blog and visit and view and read.

Petite Over 40

And then, there’s me being as rockstar queen as I can possibly muster.

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Gexa Tee (Love, Courtney Love X Nasty Gal, option) | Lace Skirt (Free People (sold out), option, option) | Embroidered Leather Jacket (Blank NYC, option) | Leather Combat Booties (Bakers) | Slave Bracelet (Nasty Gal) | Choker (courtesy of Manic Panic NYC) | Ring (House of Harlow) | Tiara (Borneo) | Lipstick (courtesy of Charlotte Tilbury)

Do you grunge, baybee?

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.

A Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

A Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up

Sharing a sneak (or two).

The going-ons in this life of mine.

 

When I first talked about what’s been going on in my world, I really had no idea what to expect.  As in how you’d react, whether anyone would even bother to leave a comment because we all know I don’t precisely lead the most exciting and wild of lives.  I occasionally very seldom eat out thanks in part to health as well as fitness goals, which are the same reasons why I hardly, if ever, attend events.  It’s hard to when you can’t (a) drink anything except water (b) eat anything without asking a million questions on what’s inside, what it was cooked with, even spices used to marinate/flavour the damn thing (c) stand for long because your knees will swell and let’s face it, no one looks good hobbling on 5″ heels, no matter how killer their shoes may be.

I was pleasantly surprised when that post received one of the highest number of comments.  Ever.  In my blog history.  Thank you very very very much.  It made me feel all good and warm and fuzzy on the inside, really really.

So here we go, one more time, me and my last week (or thereabouts).

A Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesA Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

First, I had a shoot, the results of which you see here (and in Wednesday’s post).

It’s been increasingly hard to find locations to take photos in Houston.  Well, locations that are of the vibe I prefer.  A lot of bloggers here tend to be partial to pretty surroundings, pretty and/or artsy (read: 3D installation projects, murals, and other painted walls of that nature), of which there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed, let me hasten to add.  But personally, I like a raw, industrial atmosphere.  Something in complete contrast with what I’m wearing.  I find beauty in what society typically labels as “ugly“.  I like warehouses, and metal recycling dumps, and abandoned cars/buildings.  I find the idea of traipsing around farms in the most dramatic of dresses (and the prospect of chickens, ducks, maybe even horses, as impromptu props), immensely appealing.

That’s probably why today’s line-up of photos is one of my absolute faves.

And have I mentioned we’ve been shooed off several seemingly public locations?  There was this deserted spot behind the sleep centre (just about 5 minutes from my house) which we’d used before in the past (here, here, here, here).  One day, about a month ago, Eve was striking a pose when this insane creature of a woman started screaming from a window, all the way up the top floor of a building adjacent to this spot (adjacent, mind you).  She was banging on the table and yelling her head off, threatening to call the police if we didn’t leave.  Our photographer, and videographer, and Eve, were petrified.  I, on the other hand, was pissed.  Like WTF.  I just looked at her, turning red, and shaking her fist at us, and calmly told the ladies to finish what they were doing, and only then would we leave.  I couldn’t believe what was happening!!!!

A Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesA Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Then on Tuesday, I had a professional cleaning lady come in.  It was the very first time I’d used a service.  Elia, our housekeeper, has been with us since 2010, and we adore her.  However, in 2011, they found a tumour in her husband’s brain which he had to have removed, something he refused to do.  That is until two weeks ago.  Since then, she’s been staying home to take care of him during this recovery period (the surgery was a success, incidentally, thank heavens).  In the meanwhile though, the house continued to get dustier and dirtier as any house is wont to do when (1) people live in it (2) the kitchen is used most extensively to prepare and cook 3 meals each and every single day (3) I need a break, like seriously.

Have you ever heard of Living Social?  I use that website, quite a bit in fact, because there are a lot of deals on it, and I like a good deal, don’t you?  So when we were hunting around for someone to keep things together whilst Elia is out of commission, I went straight there (no, I’m not an affiliate, I just love them).

IT WAS AN INTERESTING EXPERIENCE

See, I feel extremely awkward and uncomfortable when someone older (than me) is doing any form of manual labour (for me).  I’ve always been that way.  It’s like asking my dad to wash my car, you know?  Or my mum to do my laundry.  I feel all sorts of guilty and weirdness although I know that I’m actually helping them earn an honest living, and that they feel wonderful when they feel needed and valued.

To cut a long story short, June (the lady the service sent over) was nothing short of lovely, the house looked and smelled clean yet again, and I need to get over feeling odd about these things.  If I can.  I have to, actually, because she’ll be here again come Monday.

A Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesA Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Fast forward a few days.

Since nothing interesting happened in between.

My man and I, we went for our very first Tango Dance lesson!!  It was such a long time coming.  Pierluigi has been wanting to learn how to tango since the first day we met so that would mean he’s been harbouring a (not so subtle) desire for the last 14 and a half years.  A desire I decided to turn into reality when I purchased a session of three lessons as a Christmas gift for him, cough, in 2015.  Yes, he sat on it for almost an entire year.  Honestly, I think the fact that the voucher was about to expire was what catapulted him into action.  Sigh.

We had a lovely time :)  like a date night.  Not like.  It was a date night.  We learned the basics of the Tango, the Cha-cha-cha, and even managed a brief Rhumba routine.  I don’t know if you caught any but I did manage to slip in a few videos on my Instatories.  I’ll share more next week, from our next lesson, on whether we manage to keep it together, or just end up in a tangled, sprained heap on the dance floor whilst Dimitri (our dance instructor) looks on.

A Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesA Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Gold Baptismal Bracelets (borrowed from husband) | Camel & Black Panther Embellished Velvet Kimono (Jaded London, option, option) | Strapless Black Jersey Dress (thrifted, option, option) | Genuine Snakeskin Boots (Bakers, option, option) | Wool Beret (Forever21, option, option) | African Kente Fabric & Leather Clutch (option, option) | Rings (gifted)

And that’s it, my friends.

A rather uneventful week and a half. 

DON'T WANT TO BORE YOU WITH MORE TALES OF ELLIOT, MY THERAPIST

Plus I’m celebrating having lost 45lbs thus far, just another 25lbs more to go.

Now, I’m happily welcoming you to the third (and final) episode of the “no such thing as a gender-specific item of clothing” movement, jointly presented to you by Jodie and her ladies, Eve, and myself (see the first installment here, featuring our men’s shirts, and second part here, wherein we borrowed their accessories).  For our concluding story, we’re telling style tales of metal and of gold, and of silver.  This time around, we’re celebrating the use of jewellery from our menfolk in the form of tie clips and cuff links and bracelets.  Tell me what you think.

Eve, Teens (the world according to eve)

The World According To Eve

I know you can’t really tell from this photo but baby girl here, she took a Peace symbol cuff link from my man and pinned it on her choker, and voila.  Can we also take a moment to appreciate the gorgeousness of her velvet burnout dress???  It’s rare that I get to see her in a dress, and a short one, for that matter, so this is a very special moment for me.  To witness Eve embracing her femininity in a strong, confident fashion.  I’m so proud.

Sheela, 40s (sheela writes)

A Week In My Life 2 & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

I wanted to really play up the pair of gold baptismal bracelets I found carefully stored away in delicate tissue.  To me, they epitomised everything wonderful about my husband.  Beautiful, inside and outside.  Enduring.  Strong yet yielding when needed.  Precious.  I’m having such a sappy moment.  Anyway, I like love this look.  It came together as I’d envisioned, which doesn’t happen very often, as you know from my rants.

Jodie, 50s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Jodie

Here’s Jodie, wearing her husband’s leather choker stud accessory with such flair.  Deftly turning it into something completely non gender specific (as all timeless pieces tend to be) and fresh (white skinnies, yo).  It’s interesting to note that despite the perceived “manly” elements worn (jeans, brogues, blazer), her outfit looks completely feminine and female yet remaining very powerful and empowered.  I heart.

Nancy, 60s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Nancy

That poncho drapes ever beautifully, Nancy, like ripples of the softest, most plush fabric.  And it doesn’t hurt to have that polka dotted blouse underneath it, providing an endearingly whimsical touch to the entire look.  I like that the pants are kept sleek to not detract, and that she chose to wear silver slip-ons for a touch of cool.  You so cool, Nancy.  And clever.  To use that tie clip as an accent brooch.

Charlotte, 70s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Charlotte

Finally, we have Charlotte, in an interesting cardigan.  Or is it a knit blazer?  However you call it, the colour is GORGEOUS.  And provides the perfect foil for a twinning of cuff links dotting the collar like the prettiest of pins.  I wasn’t expecting the lavender turtleneck nor the jeans, to be perfectly honest, so thank you, for these sartorial surprises.  I’m going to have to give this outfit a try, I feel, with a Sheela spin.

There you have it, friend, our take on the world of menswear.  Which of the three segments has been your favourite?  Mine is probably today’s with the one on Wednesday coming in a close second.  And no, this won’t be the last time we do something together (Jodie, her ladies, Eve, me), watch this space for another special collaboration coming up next month.

Until then, don’t forget to link-up.

And never forget that you’re magnificent, you’re wonderful, you’re loved.

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.

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Me, Myself & I | Sheela Writes

Me, Myself & I

Why so secretive?

Why all that hush hush?

 

How is it we talk about our deepest emotions?  The state of our relationships?  Share our innermost desires and thoughts and fears, and yet hardly anyone talks about sex?  Or, for that matter, masturbation?  I know, I know, did that come across a little too forcefully?

LET'S START WITH THE OBVIOUS, SHALL WE?

First, the grass is green, the sky is blue, and people masturbate.  Gleefully and often.  But, for some unfathomable reason, men more so than women.  Could it be that many of us are still thinking, “Someday, my prince will come, and so will I.”  Emmmm.  Question mark.  It doesn’t help that the topic of self-love is still brought up in hushed tones, especially amongst women (shaking my head).  It’s seemingly impossible to engage in a candid discussion about, ahem, flickin’ the bean, even from girlfriends who are quick to talk about explicit escapades.

Me, Myself & I | Sheela WritesMe, Myself & I | Sheela Writes

This is due partly to the reality that no one wants to talk about vaginas.  According to socially constructed conceptions about female genitalia, vaginas remain an inferior sexual organ that releases blood and odours, rather than impressively enlarge and ejaculate.  Penises are absolutely everywhere.  Scrawled on bathroom stalls and bus stops, and bulging out of David Beckham’s H&M ads.  Lady parts can (and should) be known for more than periods, babies, and an orifice to help others get off.

I know, I know, historically, masturbation has gotten a bad rap but honestly?  A party for one is still a party, and to put it crudely, this is one party you’ll actually feel better after attending.

Masturbation is a very normal, enjoyable and healthy experience.  It’s time to put the taboo subject of women and masturbation to bed (all puns intended), and realise  that some days, a little menage a moi might be exactly what you need.

Me, Myself & I | Sheela WritesMe, Myself & I | Sheela Writes

W H Y ?

The big O releases feel-good endorphins that calm you the eff down after a stressful day at work.  Or running after baby one and baby two.  Or just getting through life in general.  Self-love also strengthens your pelvic-floor muscles, toning you up for even more orgasms (think Flywheel for your nether region).  It even opens up the cervix to flush out bad bacteria.

Perhaps the sweetest benefit of all?  Exploring on your own puts you in touch with what turns you on, which buttons to press (and which to avoid), and all that in turn make for way better sex with your someone else.  Once you learn how to give yourself solo Os, you’ll be able to “school” your partner on what you like.

In short?

One is so not the loneliest number.

Me, Myself & I | Sheela WritesMe, Myself & I | Sheela Writes

And as tempting as it might be to point the finger at religion for the stigmatisation of “self-abuse,” the few modern writers who have investigated the history of masturbation lay an equal share of the blame on crusading Enlightenment doctors as well as philosophers.

How is it that masturbation remains such a complicated topic in the 21st century?

I think that this is, on a large scale, caused by the stigma that women don’t masturbate.  It isn’t ladylike because people with vaginas should be able to control sexual impulses and urges.  It’s even gotten to a point where government officials like Ted Cruz want to regulate the practice of, and have fought for the ban of advertisements and sale of sex toys.  His legal team argues that “there is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals.

Me, Myself & I | Sheela WritesMe, Myself & I | Sheela Writes

In a male-dominated world, there are outdated misconceptions about female masturbation and a debilitating silence about giving yourself an orgasm.  This causes a lack of knowledge about one’s own body, which can lead to dissatisfaction with a partner.  If a woman doesn’t know what she likes, how can she expect someone else to sexually please her?

R I G H T ?

I’m a strong believer in not relying on people for anything, especially not an orgasm.  No one (regardless of gender) deserves to be treated like a blow-up doll, beckoned at every horny desire for a booty call.

Me, Myself & I | Sheela WritesMe, Myself & I | Sheela Writes

Ultimately, this issue comes down to a matter of de-stigmatising masturbation.  The more research and education that’s being completed on the subject certainly helps to do so, but the real progress will be when people start to talk about it as openly as they do about sex.  Being candid and light-hearted about getting yourself off is the key to normalising it.

Plus, there’s an endless amount of ridiculous terms to use for female masturbation, so we might as well start talking about it.

Whether you’ve only just begun exploring the world of solo play or have been into it for a while now (#noshame either way), take a look at here or here for options.  Yes, I’ve shopped at both places myself, and no, I’m not paid to promote either link.  I really do believe that sharing is caring.  And that knowledge is empowering.

Go ahead, partake in a little self discovery.

And I’m curious to see how many, if any, comment on this post.

And now, here’s a little something different.  A link-up.  That I’m co-hosting.  With Nicole of High Latitude Style.  She’s probably no stranger to most, if not all, of you.

Top of the World Style linkup-party

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Unleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela Writes

Unleash Your Fearlessness

Let it loose.

Let it shine bright.

 

Deep down, we know we’re wired for something bigger, something better.  We’re not afraid to break the rules.  We know that fearlessness extends far and beyond a job title, or a business, or (for that matter) any definition that isn’t our own.

We have a passion, an idea, or a business which we were born to build.

We are incredible.

We are unstoppable.

We are you, we are me, we are us.

Unleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela WritesUnleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela Writes

I am strong because I know my weaknesses.

I am beautiful because I am aware of my flaws.

I am fearless because I have faced my demons.

I am a lover because I have felt hate.

I can laugh because I have known sadness.

 Unleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela WritesUnleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela Writes

Imagine what the world would be like if all women lived fearlessly. 

Imagine if we were empowered to do, to conquer, and to triumph over that which frightens us.  Imagine if we truly believed that success is about more than just building a profitable business, that it’s about building an extraordinary life.  About leaving a legacy.  Just imagine that.

We would love ourselves (more), become happier, and feel alive.

Our untapped potential, set free. 

The possibilities, limitless.

Unleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela WritesUnleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela Writes

TOGETHER, WE MIGHT JUST CHANGE THE WORLD

Stop doubting and start doing.  Unleash your full potential.  Release yourself from the confines of limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging habits.

Stop doubting and start doing.

Create the forward momentum you need to skyrocket your happiness and success, so you truly become UNSTOPPABLE.  A driving force.

Unleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela WritesUnleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela Writes

Silk Tie (borrowed from the man, option, option) | Navy Velvet Duster Cardigan (Boohoo, option, option) | Faux Leather Leggings (exact, option) | Booties (option, option) | Studded Lip Clutch (option, option) | Bowie Tee, Jewellery & Sunnies (thrifted)

Be unapologetically (and authentically) you.

Create the life you were meant to live. 

PASSIONATE.  CALM.  WILD.  AND FREE.

Welcome, friend, to the second of a “no such thing as a gender-specific item of clothing” tri-part movement, jointly presented to you by Jodie and her ladies, Eve, and myself (see the first installment here, wherein we literally borrowed a shirt from the men in our lives).  This time around, we’re celebrating the use of accessories from our menfolk such as ties and belts and scarves.  Have a look.

Eve, Teens (the world according to eve)

The World According To Eve

This is my favouritest look from today’s line-up.  Eve looks sassy and spunky and kick-assy here, sporting her stepdad’s tie as a hairband.  Yup, that lil blue number on her head is a silk tie that’s probably loads older than she is.  And how fun is her Canadian tuxedo???  Call me biased but her outfit is, by far, the edgiest on the block.

Sheela, 40s (sheela writes)

Unleash Your Fearlessness | Sheela Writes

It wasn’t a very inspired moment for me, I admit but in the end, I opted for the tried and tested Joan Jett/Pat Benatar/Blondie look, and wore my husband’s tie as a tie, albeit loose and, in my opinion, way cooler.  That coupled with the leather, the Bowie tee ,and the heels made it signature Sheela.  Oh, and I threw in some velvet for a hint of gothic romance.

Jodie, 50s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Jodie

You turn it around, fold it here, and tuck it in there, and voila, a pocket square becomes a delightful scarf!!  And that’s precisely what Jodie did here.  Super clever.  And if that wasn’t enough, her sweater with its subtle origami weaves is just fabulous.  It reminds me so much of Miyake, and of Japanese avant garde fashion in general.

Nancy, 60s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Nancy

Nancy’s wearing the pants belt in this camp.  Wearing a top-stitched brown leather belt, to be specific, and deftly avoiding the issue of expansiveness by cinching it around her hips, cutting an elongated and much more slender silhouette.  I really fancy that vest of hers, incidentally, reminds me of something Emily Payne of Project Runway created.

Charlotte, 70s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Charlotte

And here’s Charlotte, in a man’s hat, looking truly spiffy and spirited.  It’s so refreshing to see bursts of red around the neck (something which belonged to her dad, by the way) and below the cuffs, providing loads of visual as well as textural contrasts.  Perhaps the most beautiful of accent of all, however, is that gorgeous, welcoming smile on her face.

Do come back and visit on Friday, to see the concluding episode of this menswear saga, wherein we take on the business of men’s jewellery.  And that’s also when my weekly Project Sister Act Link-Up goes live.  Until then, you’re a force of nature in your own right, and don’t you forget it.

Force Majeure.

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.

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Boy Oh Boy | Sheela Writes

Boy Oh Boy

Steal his style?

Add some mannish flair to your closet?

 

We’ve all been accused of always wanting what we can’t have (no fibbing now), and that definitely extends to our wardrobe.  Or perhaps, to be more accurate, I should say it stems from our wardrobe?  And even though we own pretty, flirty pieces,  the occasional frou frou statement garment, and sassy numbers aplenty, there’s something about man-centric designs that simply calls to us, singularly and persistently, akin to the siren song of Black Friday sales.

Despite conservative (read: archaic) mindsets, there is no loss of femininity when she wears something that belongs to him.  When a woman wears what is traditionally male garb, she converts the garment into something that’s entirely feminine.  And it is the very paradox which makes the entire affair ever so alluring.  After all, who can say what constitutes men’s wear and women’s wear?  Suppose that women are not borrowing apparel from men, but merely taking back something that was once theirs?

NOW THAT'S FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Boy Oh Boy | Sheela WritesBoy Oh Boy | Sheela Writes

Navy Blue Vest & Dove Baptismal Pin (borrowed from Pierluigi) | Camo Pencil Skirt with Tuxedo Stripes (Forever21, option, option) | Madonna Tee & Bangles (thrifted) | Heels (JustFAB, option, option) | Novelty Pins, Ring & Sunnies (Poshmark) | Great Expectations Clutch (Kate Spade NY, option, option)

The world has not been entirely cordial through the years to feminists who have worn male attire, however.  Say it isn’t so, Sheela remarks, with a mere hint of flippancy.  Joan of Arc made many enemies by leading the French Army to victory in men’s chain‐mail tights.  Novelist George Sand (nee Aurore Dupin) shocked 19th Century Paris by taking a male name, wearing men’s clothes and smoking cigars.  Closer to home, in the United States, parents were outraged when their daughters began wearing pantalets in the 1820s, and Amelia Jenks Bloomer upped the sales of smelling salts in 1851 when she began wearing her own bloomers in public.

How shocking.

How positively shocking.

Boy Oh Boy | Sheela WritesBoy Oh Boy | Sheela Writes

At the turn of the century, when women started going to work, the shirtwaist, a blouse adapted from a man’s shirt, became all the rage.  In the 1920s, Chanel’s sailor pants and her celebrated suit were major advances in male styles for women (hooray, all ye suffragettes).  Meanwhile, in Berlin, actress Marlene Dietrich started an international trend by wearing men’s pants, shirts, overcoats, ties, top hat, white tie and tails, a style that has become synonymous with the classic, androgyny vibe to this very day.

Other pants‐for‐women pioneers include Tallulah Bankhead, Katharine Hepburn, Greta Garbo, Amelia Earhart and Claudette Colbert, who, in 1935, raised many eyebrows by sliding down an amusement park chute in male garb with Marlene Dietrich, similarly attired.  I genuflect before thee all, I genuflect.

Boy Oh Boy | Sheela WritesBoy Oh Boy | Sheela Writes

Antagonism toward women in men’s clothes was displayed as late as 1946 when men’s wear designer John Weitz created his first collection for women inspired by male styles, and was promptly booed by 120 editors at an out‐of-town showing.  And in 1948, when he designed men’s jeans for women with a front zipper and a tight rear fit, the designer recalls, “I was denounced by the clergy in New York for creating immoral clothes.

Good lord in style heaven, it was 1948, for crying out loud, not the 14th century.

As Gloria Steinem, one of the founders of Ms Magazine, declares, “There is no such thing as men’s clothes or women’s clothes.  As far as I’m concerned, there are just clothes — body coverings —without sexual distinction.”  Perfectly phrased, Ms Steinem.

Boy Oh Boy | Sheela WritesBoy Oh Boy | Sheela WritesBoy Oh Boy | Sheela Writes

Remember that in various periods of history, men have worn far more ornate things than women, and never have their masculinity been challenged.  Personally, I find pants far more comfortable (and flattering) to wear, all year long.  The endless line-up of fabric weight options available effectively eliminate any possibility of “too thick“, or “too warm“, or “too sheer“.  I mean, seriously, there’s a pant for any season, any occasion, any size.  What I object to most on the whole subject of clothes is that they aren’t (supposed to be) interchangeable.  And that’s the part that makes the least sense to me.

Now, before you (completely) tire of my prose, welcome!!  To the first of a tri-part project between Jodie and her ladies, Eve, and myself.  Regular readers will be no strangers to these beautiful, strong women, with whom I’ve had the pleasure and honour of collaborating with on numerous occasions.  For this particular joint venture, we decided to take things a step further, and not merely wear something that was inspired by menswear but, instead, to actually borrow something from the men in our lives. To start things off, here we are, wearing an item of clothing temporarily hijacked from him.

Eve, Teens (the world according to eve)

The World According To Eve

Trust Eve to take her stepdad’s white undershirt and transform it into something completely street, completely edgy.  Yes, I kid you not, that’s Pierluigi’s undershirt.  Here, Eve has knotted it by the side to create a much more flattering silhouette and then bam bam pow, throw in those electric blue suede OTK boots, and she looks ready to slay it at a concert.  Or the runway.

Sheela, 40s (sheela writes)

Boy Oh Boy | Sheela Writes

It was challenging finding something to wear from my husband’s wardrobe because he has a massive chest.  He’s only 5ft 8″ but with a chest circumference of 45″, everything he owns drowns me.  So when I chanced upon this navy wool vest, it was an alleluia moment.  I added bits of me with the camo tuxedo skirt and, of course, the studded heels.

Jodie, 50s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Jodie

Here’s Jodie, wearing her husband Rob’s shirt, as a duster.  How clever!!!  And adding the belt promptly eliminated any possibility of a boxy silhouette.  Doubly clever.  I like how she’s also chosen to wear the shirt over a knit dress, giving it more of a colder-time-of-the-year vibe.  And to all pundits who claim we ought not match belt to boots, I say pshaw.

Nancy, 60s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Nancy

Look at Nancy rocking that Desigual shirt (ok ok, Rob’s Desigual shirt).  What a graphic statement, perfectly complemented with touches of contrasting denim at the cuffs.  Hers is a look I can easily see myself emulate because of how universally flattering it is.  And I especially love those boots, they add a laidback, glamping touch to the overall outfit.

Charlotte, 70s (jodie’s touch of style)

Jodie's Touch Of Style | Charlotte

How sassy and classy and kick assy does Charlotte look, pairing that shirt with a turtleneck.  It’s such a Katherine Hepburn move (read: timeless elegance with more than a hint of moxie and spunk).  There’s something to be said about men’s wear on a woman, and I think this outfit personifies the very best of both worlds.

Come back and see us on Wednesday as well as Friday, as we churn out further interpretations of female-styled-men’s-wear, incorporating elements such as accessories and jewellery.  I do so hope you’ll join the discussion and leave me a comment too, because many of my posts are inspired by what you say, and how you feel.

What’s your favourite men’s wear item?

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.

 

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Legacy & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Legacy & A Link-Up

Leaving a legacy.

What you want to be known for.

 

I’m still reeling.  In the devastating aftermath of appointing a sexist, racist, misogynistic larger-than-life to lead the world’s most powerful, most influential nation for the next four years, I’m still reeling.  I’ve never shared my political views on the blog and despite my sentiment that class is moving out, and white trailer trash is moving in, I’m not about to start.

I, will, however, talk about something very important. 

L E G A C Y

What you want to be known for.

If I am not for myself, who is for me?  And when I am for myself, what am I?” is the well-known aphorism from Hillel, a famous Jewish rabbi.

Legacy & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesLegacy & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesLegacy & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Red White & Blue Moto Jacket (Forever21) | Ripped Red Skinny Jeans (NY & Co) | Floral Top, Rings & Sunnies (thrifted) | Ankle Booties (JustFAB) 

But then again, who expects that of me?  I’m just a regular person.  Nobody cares what I leave behind, or what I do or say.  Nobody will remember me beyond my family.  Nobody pays attention or cares about what I contribute to the human race!  I’m not obligated to the world.  I’m just trying to survive, and as long as I take care of my family, keep my kids from going off the rails, don’t kill anybody, maybe have a little fun, that’s good enough for me.

L E G A C Y

A legacy isn’t only about leaving what you earned but also what you learned, and we all have an opportunity to make a difference. It doesn’t call for wealth, fame or even taking giant steps.  “Legacy” isn’t just for the rich and/or the famous.  We each create our own every single day.  The fact is, whether you’re thinking about it or not, value it or not, your legacy is being created, either consciously or unconsciously, with or without your curation.

And in this present climate, it is ever so much more important that we decide what it is we want to be remembered for.  Frankly, I’ve come to believe that ignoring the task of legacy (or allowing it to formulate without conscious thought) has contributed greatly (or not so greatly, as it were) to the toxification, the dumbing down, the weakened striving for and inarguable lessening of what have long been considered desirable human traits: integrity, compassion, humanity, generosity, honor, and open-mindedness.

Legacy & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesLegacy & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesLegacy & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Instead, we live in a world where too many presume they’re invisible enough to not be held responsible for their actions.  A world where the self-absorbed think nothing about the negativity they leave in their wake, the ugliness they inject into their sphere.  People who care so little about “making the world a better place,” or “living an admirable life, even if for no one but oneself,” that they pillage and plunder with impunity.

They leave tweets of incomprehensible stupidity that sometimes have lasting and powerful effect.  They engage in thoughtless, destructive email exchanges as if “no one’s watching” or hacking hadn’t become normalised in a world of zero privacy.  They forget that screenshots can immortalise deleted threads, hateful speech, and knee-jerk reactions later regretted.  They spend precious hours of life sharing hateful dialogue and trolling those who might not share their beliefs.  They bully and attack with little concern for who they hurt or what negativity they foment.  They steal art, denigrate kinder people, and make any online exchange a brutal gauntlet.

And they do all this with impunity, because they’re either hiding behind a screen name, they’re convinced they won’t be found out;  they think they’re entitled or above reproach, or they simply don’t care.  They don’t care if their persona, their name, their identity, the essence of who they are is attached to something heinous and hideous.  They don’t care about legacy.

BUT THEY SHOULD

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Whatever you might believe about spiritual life, life beyond the physical realm, or the existence of energy and consciousness, the fact remains that what we create has impact.  On us, our families, our friends, the communities where we live, the countries to which we pledge our allegiance; the global alliance we call the human race.  It doesn’t matter if you’re famous, notorious, large, small, or in-between, you have impact.  Visible, not visible, felt, not felt; ignored, denied, or dismissed.

You have impact.  That’s your legacy.

Even if you’re someone who doesn’t give a f*** about what that impact is, the way you affect and influence your children, your personal circle, the world, anything and everything you touch IS your legacy.  You should care about that.

Because there can be no purpose in life more important than making one’s imprint of value.  We may not be able to control whether we succeed, gain fame and fortune, or become the kind of person whose death inspires Facebook posts, but that can’t be the criteria.  The criteria for any person’s legacy is simply this – make everything you say, do, write, create, share, influence, or affect be something your children, your mother, your father, your spouse, the people you care most about, YOU, would be unequivocally proud of.

Legacy & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesLegacy & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Do no harm.

Control your anger, your hate, and the urge to damage or demean.

Embrace the simplest of rules like “do unto others.

Stoke empathy at every turn by considering how your words and actions would feel to you then act accordingly.

If nothing else, do think about if you were famous and people were talking about you after you died.  What would they say?  What would they celebrate?  How would you be remembered?  And would you be comfortable with what you come up with?

Legacy & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesLegacy & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Morbid?  Perhaps.

But sometimes we have to jar ourselves into understanding more clearly the impact we do have.  Little things add up, good and bad, and what you leave behind really ought to be something meaningful.  Thesaurus offers one synonym for “legacy” that I’m particularly partial to – GIFT.  Where I come from, it’s cultural to always leave a gift when one is a guest.  And given the brief, transient nature of life, I’d suggest that we’re all guests in every moment we live.  And, ergo, gifts should be regularly left, which only serves to affirm my thesis.

Your legacy is your gift.

Think about the gifts you leave behind.

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.

A Week In My Life | Sheela Writes

A Week In My Life

The past 5 4 days.

What’s been happening.

 

How odd is this, huh?  That I’m actually not pouring my heart out in this post (shock shock, horror horror), but rather, for a change, simply sharing with you, everything which has happened to me and my family over the week.  I’ve really been wanting to post more often.  As in every day, if possible, or at the very least, 4 times a week.  And the blunt truth is I can’t accomplish any of that if I continue down the bare-it-all-long-post route that’s become something of a signature for me.

However, as has been pointed out to me, all things are possible.  If I keep it short and sweet, that is.

100 W O R D S

Well, maybe 200 words, for the likes of those from whose fingertips, words gush forth without the need for much provocation.  See where it takes me.  And I felt the only way I could achieve such a succinct end result would be if I wrote about what’s been transpiring in my life, you know.  I also thought it couldn’t hurt to share what goes on in other aspects of my world, yes, for the last four days anyway.

A Week In My Life | Sheela WritesA Week In My Life | Sheela Writes

We begin with Monday.

Halloween Monday, to be precise.  The one year we went all out and spent loads on lights and props and skulls and witches galore, seeing how this would be the last 31st October we’d have Eve with us for a while, with university in her Fall 2017 future.  And then guess what?  We promptly forgot to buy candies.  Stop laughing.  I am so serious.  It just completely slipped our minds, the association of Halloween with treats.  So no candies.  Not a single sweet.  Nada.  Nothing. Which led to us turning all the porch lights off that entire evening.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so ditzy.

Insert sigh of Herculean proportions right here, please. 

A Week In My Life | Sheela WritesA Week In My Life | Sheela Writes

Tuesday was an enlightening day.  I had my regular chiropractor session and learned a few, new, highly intriguing things about my massage therapist (the clinic begins each adjustment with heat packs, blood circulation machines, and a stretch session with a licensed therapist).

Back to the therapist (I’ll call him Elliot).  We were talking about things we’d done over the weekend with our respective families when he revealed that despite being divorced, he and his ex-wife not only still lived under the same roof but also, get this, his daughters had absolutely no idea their parents were no longer married to each other.  Errrr.

Well, I have the faintest suspicion that things are going to get really interesting when either parent decides to start dating (other people) again, don’t you think? 😛

Adding to the drama, the house wasn’t even his.  It belonged to his ex-father-in-law.  Elliot lived in the house, with his ex-wife and their two daughters (who were none the wiser that they’d parted ways), AND with his ex-father-in-law.  Oh oh oh, and the ex-father-in-law’s ex-wife lived right next door too!!!!  Days Of Our Lives, The Bold & The Beautiful?  Move over.

A Week In My Life | Sheela WritesA Week In My Life | Sheela Writes

Wednesday was somewhat anti-climatic, I shan’t lie.

First of all, I had this webinar organised by Hilary of Dean Street Society on monetising one’s Instagram account, which I was very much psyched over, and very intent on tuning in.  But, of course, life work got in the way and I missed it.  Instead, I ended up editing 20 tech-jargon-filled responses to questions meant for a Tier 1 network security portal.  Fun times.

Then, baby girl Eve (whom I picked up from school that day) professes a hunger craving for kolaches so I drive her to the nearby deli only to be met by the sign, “Mondays to Saturdays, 8am to 1pm.”  We got there at 4.45pm.  At which point, I swear to God, Eve burst into tears.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen her shed a tear over food before in my entire life.  And, in case you were wondering, yes it was that time of the month for her.  We got back into the car, and I drove to the nearest bakery wherein I promptly spent $17++ on a croissant, a cheese pocket, and several cookies.  The smile on Eve’s face was so so so worth it.

A Week In My Life | Sheela Writes

Then we come to Thursday, more specifically, the first Thursday of the month (read: Phlebotomy day which I loathe), and a visit with my Oncologist.  For the last few months, I’ve been having to undergo monthly phlebotomies because (a) my red blood cell count is much too high; and (b) my blood is very viscose, and I’m at a very high risk of getting either a stroke or an aneurysm (particularly given that my family history is rife with both conditions, on either side of the clan).

However, yesterday, my Oncologist greeted me with fabulous news!!  My numbers were much lower than usual (down by 7 points, from 52 to 45) meaning I didn’t need to have a phlebotomy.  Alleluia!!!  To appreciate how much I appreciate not doing this procedure, you need to understand the things that make a phlebotomy quite challenging for me.  One, my veins are immensely fine, so fine that there is only one (yes, singular) prickable vein on my left inner elbow and it’s been pricked so much that scar tissue/kelloids have developed over time, making it even harder to penetrate through.  Harder and that much more painful.

Two, my blood is very thick.  As in slushy like milkshake.  The first time I did a phlebotomy, nothing came out of the needle.  Absolutely nothing.  The nurse had to remove the safety pin-sized needle out of my elbow, put a heatpack on me for 10 minutes, and try again.  The second time, blood came out.  Very slowly.  So slowly that it stopped several times along the way, and when the bag was 1/3 full, it stopped completely.  At which point, my lips were purple and my face was a delicate shade of blueish green.  Now you understand why not needing a phlebotomy means that much to me!!!

By the by, try saying “phlebotomy” 5 times, as quickly as you can.

So, what happened to you this week?

Oh, and don’t forget to go forth and link-up, ‘kay?

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.

The Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela Write

The Fab 40s Go Preppy

Penny loafers.

Twinsets. Button-Downs.

 

I can easily trace my first encounter with the Sloane Ranger look when the late Princess Di entered my world.  It was 1980.  I was but a babe.  Borderline obsessed with royalty and fairy tale endings, with the fascinating world of style, beauty.  Completely intrigued by designers, and their sketches, how they derived inspiration, the process of putting together a collection.  Pinning, draping, the use of muslin, the importance of a signature house dress form.

Not much has changed in the past 3 decades, I see.

The Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela WritesThe Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela WriteThe Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela Write

Sloane Rangers, yes.  Or Sloanies.  A recognisable tribe of yuppies that dressed in a manner that was well-bred, slightly above mainstream fashion, and a wee bit posh.  With a predilection for the countryside and, as such, their wardrobe contained reflected this somewhat (glamping, anyone?).  Favourite haunts include Sloane Square in Chelsea, London.

It was this outfit in particular worn by Princess Di which has remained in my memory all these years.  The turtleneck.  Corduroy blazer.  Pinstriped pencil skirt.  Shiny, well-polished pumps.  To me, that epitomised the Sloane Ranger, otherwise known as BCBG in France (bon chic bon genre), or, closer to home, the American preppy subculture.

The Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela WriteThe Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela WriteThe Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela Write

With the connotations of money and conservative attitude it entailed, the preppy look is resolutely conformist.  Upper middle class.  Old money.  Their “dress code“, a loyalty to what their parents and grandparents had worn and, as you ever so rightly guessed, the complete antithesis of what my wardrobe is all about.  As imagined, preppy (or whatever you want to call it) isn’t a style I personally pursue.

Whilst I’ve developed a growing fondness for button-down Oxford shirts, nautical stripes (never met a stripe I didn’t like) as well as equestrian details (Gucci horsebit, anyone?), Sheela + preppy = definitely not a match made in sartorial heaven.

So, when Ann (yes, you) chose preppy for the October installment of the Fab 40s, I gulped.  I did, I confess, I gulped.  I’m not ashamed to admit the first thing I did was google the word “preppy” on Wikipedia (and I wasn’t the only one to do that apparently, alleluia, I don’t feel so alone now, with a big shout out to Michelle).

The Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela WriteThe Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela Write

I huffed and I puffed and I almost blew the house down.

AND THEN I CAME UP WITH THIS OUTFIT

It’s got several elements of preppy.  Note the button-down interpreted in a soft, drapey fabric with poet cuffs.  The blazer with its subtle piping.  I even included the rudimentary bow-in-hair albeit mine is fashioned from leather.  And paired all that with ripped jeans, and sunnies, graphic clutch, and signature killer heels, to come up with a look reminiscent of Blair Waldorf dressed up as Mick Jagger for Halloween.  I think it rather fits the Sloane Ranger bill.

And now, my friends, let’s take a walk, shall we?  And behold how the Fab 40s has interpreted this month’s theme?  Preppy.

Ann, Kremb de la Kremb

Kremb de la Kremb

Diane, Fashion On The Fourth Floor

Fashion On The Fourth Floor

Jennie, A Pocketful Of Polka Dots

A Pocketful Of Polka Dots

Mary, Curly Byrdie Chirps

Curly Byrdie Chirps

Sam, Fake Fabulous

Fake Fabulous

Veronica, CID Style File

CID Style File

And now, please meet Michelle of RetroChicMama, our guest blogger for this month.  I’ve seen (and fangirled) her outfits on Instagram for the longest time ever, and couldn’t be more pleased when I found out she’d be joining us for October.

Truth be told, when Michelle confessed that she too had been googling the internet for definitions of “preppy style“, I was really confounded.  In my eyes, hers was quintessentially Sloane Ranger in style.  The poster child for prep, you know.  The restrained touches of jewellery.  Classic, clean lines.  Occasional spurts of colour and print.  And she does not fail to deliver in collaborating with the Fab 40s!!!

RetroChicMama

And then, there’s me in something oh so similar to an outfit Blair actually wore, as seen in a Gossip Girls scene (thank you, Ann, I had absolutely no idea!!!).   Ironically, Ann calls me Queen She, and Blair is known as Queen Bee.

The Fab 40s Go Preppy | Sheela Write

HEY, BLAIR SHEELA

All I need now is my very own heir to the throne.

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.

 

Being Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Being Glam & A Link-Up

What does glam mean?

An over-the-top outfit perhaps?

 

Is it wearing sufficient make-up to rival that of a Kardashian?  Or some really well made undergarments that support, lift, and defy gravity?  I mean, really, what constitutes glam?  Looking all dolled up?  Or does it begin with feeling like you’re a million bucks?

HAVE WE COME TO ASSOCIATE GLAMOUR WITH A PARTICULAR STYLE?

As versus, you know, the impression of attraction (or fascination) that a carefully orchestrated appearance creates?  It could be a luxurious facade.  Or one exuding elegance.  Carefully orchestrated, with much thought and deliberation, to appear completely and utterly effortless.  Contrived nonchalance, if you like, carved to make an impression appear better than it actually is.

Being Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesBeing Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

Garments (thrifted) | Ruffled Collar (A Leap Of Style) (option) | Heels (Bakers)

I would argue that it is both.

Both the clothes we put on our bodies as well as how we feel.  The sequence of which comes first is, however, fluid.  Sometimes it’s a particular outfit which makes us stand a little taller, shoulders back, chest out.  Other times, there’s an extra pep in our step, in the way we toss our hair back, and choose the brightest, boldest shade of lipstick in our arsenal.  Yes?

I would also argue that the magic of glamour stretches far and beyond the stereotypical spheres of fashion, or of lifestyle, or even film.  That the hand of glam influences what we buy, where we choose to live, the sort of careers we pursue, the people we choose to associate with (all that birds of a feather thing is really real, I tell ya), and many other decisions that come our way throughout the day.

Being Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesBeing Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

And, for the most part, the vast majority of us do not even realise how pivotal a role “glam” (or “glamour”) plays in that decision-making process.

Suffice to say glamour is firmly entrenched as one, if not the most, powerful forms of nonverbal persuasion, one that taps into our most secret dreams and deepest yearnings to influence our everyday choices.

Astounding, isn’t it?  The importance of this itty bitty four letter word.

G L A M

Astounding but oh so true.

Being Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela WritesBeing Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

To clarify, there is a distinct difference between glamour and glitz too.  All that glitters isn’t necessarily golden by default, a concept I struggled with over the years, and have only just to terms with recently.  Glamour can be savoured in small yet nonetheless heady doses, as it can well also be experienced under far more expansive circumstances.

From where I’m standing, “glamour” is that pleasurable pang of desire.  A distinctive sensation of projection and yearning, which is not to be confused with envy or jealousy, or to put it bluntly, to covet thy neighbour’s goods.

A sensation which I deployed to full use in fashioning the outfit before you.   I asked myself what would I want to see on another woman that would make (a) my eyes really pop out of my head; (b) me want to tear the clothes off her back; and (c) me long to be her.  I’m being completely honest and serious here.  And this is what I came up with.

Being Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

So, I suppose, you could theorise that today, you’ve come face-to-face with my alter ego.  The confident, bold, empowered, glam side of Sheela.  The one who’s got her shit together all the time (or at least appears to have her shit all together), and takes on the world, one feminist, glamorous stride at a time.

Say hi.  And welcome to the October edition of Project Sister Act and five visual stories of how we (women spanning teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s) thumb up our noses at societal expectations when it comes to the clothes we wear. This month, we are trumpeting novel (and unexpected) compositions of colour, texture and print, all in the name of Avant Garde (full credit goes to Eve for coming up with the theme).  Come see.

Eve (the world according to eve)

The World According To Eve

How positively gorgeous does Eve look?  Like a modern day witch.  Dramatic and striking, with pops of colour on lips, eyes and boots.  I love her interpretation of the theme, and you really ought to go check out her Instagram feed (@phinayi) for a video showing how dreamy this outfit moves in the wind.

Chasmine (the glamazon universe)

The Glamazon Universe

I must say that this is the most unexpected take on this month’s theme.  So perfectly laidback and breezy with super cool details to up the ante.  From those pointy toed boots to the shoulder epaulets of her coat, Chasmine looks the epitome of the millenial avant garde.  And can we highlight that amazing hair????

Joi (in my joi)

In My Joi

Love love Joi’s interpretation.  I told her it reminded me of Lil Eddie meets Riri right there.  Do you see it?  I think the fur collar and those kicks play a huge role in that vibe, yes, but it’s mostly her cool personality.  Those blue nails.  That bright fuchsia on clutch and lips.  It all comes together.

Me (sheela writes)

Being Glam & A Link-Up | Sheela Writes

That’s me, in my thrifted clothing glory, a real-life case study of not needing to spend a million bucks to look like a million bucks.

Jacqueline (petite silver vixen)

Petite Silver Vixen

I’m in love with this.  Jacqueline looks STUNNING and not in the slightest bit costumey which is so hard to pull off when attempting anything remotely steampunk.  I mean, how brilliant is she, navigating three different prints.  This is my absolute fave outfit in quite possibly the entire history of Project Sister Act.

And that, my friends, is Project Sister Act for October 2016.  Truth be told, I struggled with my own outfit in the beginning (in fact, this was my second attempt) but I feel it went decently.  My heartfelt thanks go to each and every single woman in this line-up.  You are (so very) loved.

Don’t forget to link up.

Love, Sheela

Finally made the transition to AV and am now on YouTube as well as Snapchat (sheela.goh), would adore your support through subscribing to my channel/adding my snaps. 

Pretty please?

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.