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Receiving Compliments

Err. Emm. Errr.

Why can’t we accept compliments?

 

I’ve come to realise something recently.  Well, no, actually, it’s been pointed out to me by my husband in the past, and rather frequently too, but I simply never quite took stock of it.  Sorry, my love, for not listening to you, but you’re always so biased, in my favour, I don’t know when to believe what you say (I love you!!)

So yes, that one thing I’ve developed awareness of?  That women are, basically, terrible when it comes to accepting compliments, and yes, I’m part of that statistic.  And this isn’t even a new phenomenon upon which we can blame, oh I don’t know, the current sexist administration?  I digress.  It would seem that the vast majority of my species feels uncomfortable in the face of unsolicited kudos.  We stutter and get all awkward, guilty even (dare I say).  And shuffle most uncomfortably towards the guaranteed death of said conversation.

W H Y    I S    T H A T ?

To determine if this was an occurrence which happened only within my immediate circle (myself included), I thought I’d undertake a little experiment.

What if I complimented every female I met over the weekend?

What would transpire?

How would they react?

Surely, at least one would respond positively?

Lap up my compliment?

Right?

So did any women accept one of my freebie compliments?  Did anyone own it and relish the joys of non-fished-for praise?  Here’s the thing, I distributed my words of praise to strangers, and coworkers alike.  Sadly, not a single one of these fabulous women stood back and accepted their compliment.  Not.  One.

A woman I’ve been seeing at the gym for the past few years?  Based on her clothes and posture, and how she carried herself in conversations, I’ve long admired her as a power-player.  And guess what?  She became uncomfortable when I commented on how pretty I thought her bracelet was.  “Oh, I found this at the bottom of the drawer. It’s really old,” she mumbled.

The compliments I dished out were hardly radical.  I mean, it was just about taking a moment to tell women something complimentary, when they had something to justifiably compliment.

And it wasn’t a gentle rebuffing, either.  The majority of females I spoke to instantly tore themselves down.  At best, a few did this weird uncomfortable laugh, whilst looking down at their (shuffling) feet, rather like a version of saying, “Please stop!!

I myself am not a keen recipient of compliments.  Don’t get me wrong, I love them but I definitely feel embarrassed and get all flummoxed when I’m complimented, and I have an inkling it’s because I don’t believe I deserve them.  Especially when it’s coming from family because, after all, family members are pre-programmed to look at me with rose-tinted vision, yes?

I read somewhere that rebuffing compliments is something women have learned over time.  That many women are socialised to be humble, modest, and to avoid external displays of pride or arrogance.  Therefore, our default response is to be demure and rebuff compliments.  From women.  And, conversely, women are twice as likely to accept a compliment from a man than from another woman.

I S N ' T    T H A T    F A S C I N A T I N G ?

But how can we deviate from what appears to be our natural setting?  How do we start to stop dodging the compliments?   The first step is to acknowledge that accepting a compliment is actually beneficial to self-worth.  Savour the compliment instead of immediately batting it away.

Saying thanks might feel iffy and arrogant and even self-absorbed in the beginning.  And those feelings are very natural, yes, but it’s not a sign that you’re doing something wrong.  Because you’re not.  Just like any kind of habit or behavioural change, accepting compliments will initially feel uncomfortable, but we need to train ourselves to do it.

And upgrade our perceptions of ourselves that we deserve the compliments.  That we are worthy.  And take comfort in the fact that accepting compliments is beneficial for our emotional wellbeing.

I’m quite certain our self-worth will thank us for it later.

Top (c/o Shein Official ) | Shorts (H&M) | Booties (Cicihot) | Sunnies (Poshmark)

And how’s that for light Monday reading, huh?  GRIN you can always count on me to be forthcoming.  And honest.  And no holds barred.

 

KISSES!!!

 

Love, Sheela

p/s I link up here.

pp/s yes, that’s a blue trashcan, a cool blue trashcan, mind you.

Millennium Bunny: Episode 3

Here she is again, friends.

The world according to Eve returns.

 

It’s that time of the week again when the Millennium Bunny aka Eve aka mah boo returns with her thoughts on random happenings, people and places in the world, with a bombass outfit to boot.

Why Millennium Bunny, you ask?  Eve is a Millennium born in 1999.

And she was born in the year of le lapin 🙂

Today, Eve talks about pachyderms, moodboards, the royal wedding, and The Greatest Showman.

1. On her obsession with pachyderms.

I’ve been in love with elephants ever since I was a baby. I just think they’re the most adorable yet majestic animals in the world. They’re basically like the “gentle giant” in my eyes.

( dear readers, to substantiate my use of the word “obsession”, let me share with you that Eve has elephants in all shapes and sizes in her room, from badges and pins to clothes and socks, in the form of all manner of accessories, not to mention the herd of plushies that sleeps in her bed every single night since she was born )

2. On creating moodboards.

I initially started creating moodboards for assignments I had in art class. I would always either include them in my sketchbook or as a major project. But now it’s a really a form of relaxation for me. It keeps my mind preoccupied whenever I’m stressed about school or life in general.

Instead having a meltdown or laying in bed doing nothing, I create something so that both my hands and my mind are kept busy.

3. On the forthcoming royal wedding.

I think it’s really cool!

Meghan Markle is literally one of the most beautiful human beings on this planet. I’m glad that Great Britain is continuing to break out of the idea that royals can only marry royals, and instead wed your true love.

Plus, having a black duchess is pretty dope. I’m definitely rooting for them.

M E    T O O ,    B O O

4. And on The Greatest Showman.

First of all, if you haven’t watched this movie then stop whatever you’re doing and go freaking see it! The story in itself should make you want to watch. It inspires people to be unashamed of themselves and whatever society has deemed to be flaws.

The music is also just incredible.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my “God’s Plan,” “Monster,” and songs of that kind. But the soundtrack brings forth the type of music many may have forgotten or put away for some time in favor of newer genres. There’s not one song on that soundtrack that I don’t like or love. I also have to admit that I love the film because of the romance between Zendaya and Zac Efron. Major goals!

Now tell me about this outfit you’re wearing, boo.

Why did you pair these items together?

Eve said, “The last time I wore this dress was when I was in the 8th grade. It always made me feel empowered and awesome when I wore it. It also gives me major Season 3 Hannah Montana vibes. Plus, peplums always make me look good. I then paired it with my leather wedged shoes and those cat-eyed shades, and BOOM: badassery.”

That’s it for today’s Millennium Bunny.  You can read the other episodes here and here.

The Millennium Bunny will be on a brief hiatus next week because a certain someone needs to study for her finals BUT fret not, the views of this teenager will be back come Wednesday, 2nd May.  Back with a bang, as they say, because Eve will be talking to us about what (she feels) makes for good boyfriend material (personally, I’m dying to hear this one), her thoughts on why society seems to favour science over the arts, her complete dislike of vegetables, and if she thinks Santa Claus is real.  Oh oh and also, Eve shares which is the one gadget she cannot live without.

As well as another bombass outfit.  You know, if you have any specific questions you’d like to ask her, to (attempt to) understand things from a teenager’s perspective, fire away.  Leave a comment below.

See you Friday, when I talk about my microblading experience.

KISSES!!!

 

Love, Sheela

I link up here.

Millennium Bunny: Episode 2

Here she is again, friends.

The world according to Eve returns.

 

It’s that time of the week again when the Millennium Bunny aka Eve aka mah boo returns with her thoughts on random happenings, people and places in the world, with a bombass outfit to boot.  Bear with me on the quality of the photos, my new camera and I are only just starting to get to know each other.

Why Millennium Bunny?

Eve is a Millennium born in 1999.

And in the year of le lapin 🙂

Today, Eve talks about Trump, high school cliques, and sex offenders.

1. On the Trump administration.

I’ll be honest, I am not expert of the Trump administration and what they’ve done thus far. But there are, however, many things that he has done that do not sit well with me. For starters, Ivanka Trump. Is it not at all inappropriate for her to be part of his administration? Not to mention that one time when Kellyanne Conway told viewers to buy her clothing. I was like, “Huh?”

And then there was the constant firing and hiring of people on Trump’s staff. That wasn’t at all sketchy.

And of course the scandalous travel ban. This in particular affected my family and I. While Malaysia, which is where my grandparents are (a predominately Muslim country), isn’t on the list (as of this moment), it’s sad to think that visitation is almost impossible to achieve. And of course I’ve got to mention that freaking wall. The wall that was built was the one in Germany. And that was after one of the worst world wars. I feel as though a wall will only antagonize, and therefore be seen as a challenge, by immigrants who wish to pass without going through the proper process. As an immigrant myself, I definitely feel for those who are desperate in their attempts to enter America and are struggling to find success.

I do, however, find it a little unfair when some are allowed to stay despite coming into the country illegally. Especially since it took my mother and I the majority of my childhood to get our own green cards. There does need to be a solution for illegal immigration. But I don’t think building a wall is the right idea.

2. On high school cliques.

Oh, cliques (was that a sigh of exasperation? frustration?)

Well, it’s a way of establishing who you are and provides a sense of belonging. Is it always a bad thing? No. But is it always a good thing either? Hell no. It’s all nice and sunshiney when you have a clique and you’re with them. But when you don’t, it’s absolute hell. It’s one of the worst kinds of loneliness that anyone could ever endure. It’s because most cliques are incredibly exclusive, so many kids feel as though they must fit into any group’s mold to ensure that they’ll have a group. Otherwise students might find themselves alone and ostracized for being who they are and/or not being a carbon copy of their fellow peers.

This is is the case for the majority. Or at least it was at my school.

But if you’re lucky enough, it’ll instead just be about finding people with common interests and values, while also welcoming other people who you just genuinely enjoy being around with.

3. On appropriate punishment for sex offenders.

Honestly, I have no sympathy for any type of sex offender.

I mean, what on earth could have happened to this person that they became so sick?

Therefore I think anything less than jail is unacceptable.

Not fines.

Not paroles.

Nothing.

P  R  E  A  C  H

Now tell me about this outfit you’re wearing, boo.

Why did you pair these items together?

Eve said, “I have been dying to wear this dress for a LONG time! But I could never find the right event for it or wanted to wear something else instead. But this dress is awesome. It gives off that Harajuku vibe, doesn’t it? Momma Bear picked it out at this indie boutique in Malaysia last summer. It kind of makes me feel like a version of Gwen Stefani. I paired it with these adorable sneakers by Vans that I’ve only ever worn once. This outfit makes me feel like one of those little kickass Harajuku dolls, but darker.”

That’s it for this episode of  The Millennium Bunny.  In you missed the pilot piece, here it is.

Next week, Eve will be telling us more about her obsession with pachyderms, why she creates moodboards, and how she feels about the royal wedding.   With perhaps an insight or three into why she absolutely adores The Greatest Showman. As well as another bombass outfit.  You know, if you have any specific questions you’d like to ask her, to (attempt to) understand things from a teenager’s perspective, fire away.  Leave a comment below.

See you Friday.

KISSES!!!

 

Love, Sheela

I link up here.

Desensitising

To free oneself from a phobia.

Via gradual exposure to the thing that is feared.

 

Lately, I’ve been wrestling with how much to share on the blog.  And not for myself, actually, but for my family who may will be affected by the things I choose to reveal.  Even though this is my outlet to express myself fully, and let it all out, the fact of the matter is, I always worry how the things I write about might affect the people I love.  Because I know for a fact that my parents read my posts.  Eve (and her friends) read my posts.  And for those reasons, I do not fully disclose my thoughts nor do I talk about everything in my head.

I wish I could though.

Just let everything gush forth without a care in the world.

I T    W O U L D    B E    I M M E N S E L Y    L I B E R A T I N G

Does it come as a surprise to you?

This trepidation of mine?

Afterall, I’ve talked about running away.  And growing up within an environment that views tanned skin and articulation on a female as ugly.  I’ve touched on the topic of masturbation.  And once you talk about DIY-ing, it’s rather like going to the point of no return, isn’t it?

Yet there are aspects of my life that, if I haven’t kept completely hidden, I haven’t completely disclosed either.

Shocker, I know.

Yes, the sexual abuse as a child. 

There’s that.

And it weighs heavily upon my soul. 

I cannot lie.

And is quite likely what triggered today’s mood.  I want to shed all the burden it’s put on me, but I cannot.  For now.  I know it’s my story to tell but I worry how it will affect my parents since the person who did it lies within the immediate family circle.  And is someone with whom they still have regular contact.

Still, one has to wonder if my reticence stems more from my reluctance to confront what happened.

My brother believes I should start a journal about it.

Pen my thoughts down.  And then, one day, either publish it.  Or post it here.  When I feel ready.  And, he suggests, perhaps also after pre-empting my parents before I hit the publish button.

He has a point.  I just hate the idea of bringing the topic up with them.  I can barely talk about it with my husband.  I cringe at the memory, and feel repulsed and disgusted with myself when old thoughts resurface.  I’m very much aware that nothing which happened was my fault.  Not in the least bit.

I can’t help but wonder, though, if I did or say something to encourage it?  That caused the abuse to last over a period of 2, 3 years.

Dress & Boots (c/o Forever21) | Embellished Bag (Zara) | Sunnies (Poshmark)

I do know that, even after all these years (30+ to be precise), the fact that this part of my life bothers me so, means he has retained control over me.  And I need that to stop.  I need to put an end to it.

There’s this saying I came across. a long time ago, that old sins have long shadows.  I’d revise that a bit to include also the sins of others upon us, for they too reach far and wide.  And to counter that, I’d start with desensitising myself.  Just a little.

And how’s that for light Monday reading, huh?  GRIN you can always count on me to be forthcoming.  And honest.  And no holds barred.

KISSES!!!

 

Love, Sheela

p/s I link up here.

Introducing My Millennium Bunny

Otherwise known as Eve.

My baby girl Eve Seraphina, that is.

 

{ I apparently was in a state of fugue yesterday }

{ how else can I rationalise thinking today is Tuesday? }

{ completely  missing the “supposed” launch date of this new column? }

A little while ago, I started thinking of what I could do to fall in love (all over again) with the world of blogging.  There are only that many times one can rework the blog design.  Or would want to, for that matter (those who have done it, know what a headache that undertaking can be).  And besides, it’s not the way our platform looks which keeps us coming back.  It’s the words within us wanting to be let out that’s the real pull factor.

So, to cut a long story short, I’ve been planning several additions to this blog.  New columns, if you like, as I’ve been doing on Instagram, to spice things up.

I knew I wanted to kickstart this trajectory with a weekly column featuring my millennium baby and her thoughts .  You know, the world according to Eve?

Let’s begin with a few questions I threw her way.  Have a read.

1. Can you tell us a little about yourself and your blog?

I’m a freshman college student studying psychology. I’ve been a blogger since middle school, but I only became serious about it when I was about 16. My blog details all the weird adventures I’ve had in my life and I share them in the hopes of making people smile.

2. Describe how you first got into blogging?

I’m going to be honest, my mother made me. She thought it would be a cool way of expressing myself and that it would catch universities’ attention too. After some time, I started to really enjoy myself and continue to do it to this day.

3. How would you describe your blogging style?

I’d say my blogging style is simple, sarcastic, and honest. I’m very direct and sassy, so it makes sense that my blog reflects that about me.

4. What’s your proudest achievement?

My proudest achievement is graduating high school. High school was a hellhole and really tough. There were so many times that I was genuinely afraid of not making it through, but I did, and it was awesome.

5. Name some of your favourite bloggers and explain why they’re your favourites?

I’m going to be honest, I don’t have any favourite bloggers. As cliché as it sounds, I think they’re all cool in their own way. Having a blog is hard work and whoever is able to do it, and do it well, is awesome in my book.

6. Who was your first style icon?

My first style icon was, and still is, definitely Selena Gomez. I just absolutely adore her and her style.

7. What would you say is the biggest challenge about fashion blogging?

I think it’s hard to consistently come up with good ideas about what to write and what outfits to put together. It’s also difficult to keep being excited about what you’re doing, and look forward to the work.

8. How would you describe your personal style?

Hmmmm.  I think my personal style is still not defined yet. One day, I’ll be extremely bohemian and then the next, it’ll be rock ‘n’ roll. But I guess I’d say my style is the mix of Aria from Pretty Little Liars and Zendaya (me too, boo!!).

9. What’s your greatest satisfaction in being a fashion blogger (invites to fashion events, meeting people, gifts, etc.)?

While I will admit that being invited and attending fashion events is freakin’ awesome, the greatest satisfaction for me is getting a bombass photo of myself. It always feels good to have a great picture of yourself. It’s kind of like my version of self love that I thoroughly encourage others to do 🙂

10. How do you manage time to run your blog efficiently and keep up with being a university freshman?

I honestly have no idea. Sometimes I’m on top of things, sometimes I’m not (mostly the latter). I always put my homework first and if I have time, I write a blog post.

Tell me about this outfit you’re wearing, boo.

Why did you pair these items together?

Eve said, “Since Spring is finally here, I wanted to wear something that would reflect the new weather. When I saw the dress, I realized that I hadn’t worn it in a really long time. So I decided to put it in and switch to my heart’s content. I also really wanted to wear those earrings because they’re so fun and pretty. Plus I hadn’t gotten the chance to wear them before. As for the shoes, I’ve never been too fond of sandals and flats. Therefore I went with my black booties, ‘cos why not?”

Truly, why ever not, bunny boo 🙂

And that’s it, friends, for this introductory post on a brand new column.  The Millennium Baby.

Next week, Eve will be sharing her thoughts on Trump, high school cliques, and sex offenders.  As well as another bombass outfit.  You know, if you have any specific questions you’d like to ask her, to (attempt to) understand things from a teenager’s perspective, fire away.  Leave a comment below.

See you Monday.

Next week, we’ll be posting up to three times a week, hurray!!

KISSES!!!

 

Love, Sheela

I link up here.

It’s Bagel Time

Baked goodies.

Breads. Donuts. Bagel Balls.

 

{ before you proceed further, check back tomorrow for a new column I’m introducing }

{ okay, now go forth and read GRIN }

One of the things I enjoy most about being a content producer is trying and testing new things.  Be they garments or cosmetics or skincare.  Whoever tells you that they don’t like love the perks of being a blogger or influencer is just lying through their teeth, I promise you.  It’s a glorious sensation being on the receiving end of things be they debuting or a golden oldie.  And whilst I don’t typically accept digestibles or foods, thanks to my numerous allergies, once in a (yummylicious) moon, I do.  When something incredibly unique or different pops up on the laptop screen and piques my interest.

Like Bagel Balls.

You heard me.

B A G E L    B A L L S

Imagine the level of curiousity I experienced when I first heard from Bantam Bagels.  I was like, “What on earth is a Bagel Ball??!!

Is it a bagel?

Is it a ball?

Is it a bagel shaped like a ball?

Or is it a ball-full of bagel???

The questions, they assaulted my mind.  How could something traditionally resembling the letter O be deconstructed, reworked, then refashioned into an object so rotund and circular, and stuffed with roly-poly goodness?

The timing of that email could not have been any more perfect had they installed bugs in my laptop to monitor my travel plans because, you see, yours truly was just about to head to New York for Fashion Week SS2018.  And to have some kind soul offer to deliver (a freshly baked) breakfast to me, right before I launch headlong into the frantic, harried frenzy that is show after show after show, was a welcome boon.  Blessing, even.

So I said, “Yes, please and thank you.

Naturally.

I mean, I know I’m (technically) allergic to wheat and yeast and eggs and gluten.  But a woman can put up with just about anything when it sounds this intriguing, yes?

So them Bagel Balls were promptly delivered to me, directly to my hotel no less (amazing service, you guys) in fresh-out-of-the-oven toasty warmness.  Prettily packed too, I might add. Up to my room I dashed, as quickly as those elevators could teleport this body, flung open the door with a flourish (well, more like with a hefty tug, a groan, and a final pull because that door was solid), and plonked myself down on the bed.

And the consumption commenced.

With relish and glee.

There were many fillings, my friend, and truth be told, I had to play a guessing game because portable and practical those boxes may be, they could’ve done with some way to identify which Bagel Ball contained what, you know?  That was the only thing lacking.

That aside, basing off the flavours that exploded on my tongue, I’d say my faves were the French Toast and Cookies & Milk Bagel Balls.  They were so tasty, I ate a total of five.  Yes, five.  My tummy, it was a-rumbling and unhappy.  It also outwardly showed its displeasure at my obvious disregard of my FODMAP rules because once the binging ceased, it too resembled a Bagel Ball.  Distended, and puffy, and equally rotund.  Ah well.

It was worth it.

Although I shall spare you pictures of that.

Don’t forget!!  Come back tomorrow.  I promise you shan’t regret it.

KISSES!!!

 

Love, Sheela

p/s this is a sponsored post but my opinion is always my own

I link up here.

The Fab 40s In Colours

A spectrum of refraction.

An optical illusion of the best sort.

 

I’ll admit, I was stumped when I started writing this post.  What could I possibly talk about colours?  Save for the fact that they’re many and varied and evoke emotions in all?  And without sounding neither corny nor cliched?  I mean, there’s only that much one can wax lyrical over shade, hue, tone and tint.

C H A L L E N G E D,    I    W A S

But over the weekend, I attended my very first wedding on American soil (albeit it was a coming together of a Lebanese+Honduran female with an Italian+ Colombian male) and in the midst of oohing and aahing and gushing over how romantic and delicately passionate the chosen theme of creams, blushes and mint was, I thought perhaps I could share which colours triggered which emotions in me.

Thus was the idea born.

First up is the colour black.  It is of particular importance because of how it, simultaneously, symbolises confidence as well as a lack thereof for me, and how I work my way around managing it.  When I’m wearing black, more often than not I feel powerful and sexy, be it in terms of delicate lacey bits or dramatic evening things.  However, when I’m feeling especially insecure about my body, I also wear black as a means to cover up, and to camouflage.  Black is the one and only colour possessing the dual ability to make me feel like I can take over the world AND fade into obscurity. You see how convoluted and messed up that is?

Then there’s red.  It is the colour of my sassy (and far more confident) alter ego.  I wear it on my lips all the time because a lipstick is the easiest way to begin the self empowerment journey.  Red makes me feel fierce, and is my shade of choice when I’m headed to an important meeting.

I feel fearless in red.

Pink is what I wear when I want to appear approachable and/or to create a different impression of myself.  A softer side, if you will.  Not girly or cute (hate those words when they’re used to describe a woman GRIN) but pink makes me feel ultra feminine, and I’ve come to realise, creates a non intimidating, welcoming vibe (apparently).  It’s a shade I deploy the most for work-related networking and social events.

Now green, on the other hand, has this ability to make me feel like I’m one of the cool kids.  That I’m edgy and individualistic, a trend-setter.  Stylish without even making the effort, you know?

And there are some colours which simply do nothing for me.  As in, aside from a fundamental appreciation of aesthetics, I feel absolutely nothing when I look at them, when I wear them.

By them, I am referring to the colour purple.  And yellow.  And white.  And blue.

Isn’t that the oddest?

That whilst some colours can bring about such strong emotions, there are yet others that fail to instigate even the merest hint of a feeling?

Which brings me to this month’s edition of The Fab 40s.  After the bleak and dreary cold Winter we’ve all been through (yes, even here in Houston), Mary decided it was time to pull a “colour story” for March (a sentiment we agreed with wholeheartedly), and so here we are, working a rainbow into our outfits.

Take a look.

C O L O U R    M E    H A P P Y

Mary, Curly Byrdie Chirps

A beautiful actualisation of the theme she chose, Mary (always) wears colours with much gusto and panache.  I am loving that she threw in some pinstripes for visual relief, and also some flirty ruffles for the prettiest of dimensions.  Every little detail has been so well thought out and executed here that I cannot help but drool and ogle and lust.

Suzy, Suzy Turner

When Suzy sent her photo to the group, my immediate thought was that she looked so immaculately regal and polished, like Gloria Vanderbilt.  Hers is a marriage of not two, not three but five bold colours, each a statement shade on its own yet all have come together most harmoniously.  Even the emerald green shadow on her lids!!

Jennie, A Pocketful Of Polka Dots

Jennie looks so fetching in this combination.  Flirty pink with fiery red should, by all intents and purposes, not work together at all but here they are, looking very fabulous.  Then there’s that mint blazer for another colour curveball, I tell you!!  But my fave bits have to be the stripes of her tee (so Parisian chic) and the kerchief (such a vivid print).

Ann, Kremb de la Kremb

The wild child amongst us, Annie is debunking more than just multiple colours in her outfit, for her sunshiny yellow shift is a darling concoction of sequins, friends!!  She’s cleverly dressing it for AM with a spicy red waist pouch and the epitome of day wear, a denim jacket.  I’m SO enamoured of her rainbow sneakers as well as the matching socks.

For this month, we have the gorgeous, gorgeous Jasilika as our guest.

Jasilika | Jasilika

I may be a new fan but fan I am.  Just look at her.  Jasilika is (quite literally) clad in a rainbow, and in such a clever fashion too.  Take a look also at this lady’s Instagram account and I guarantee you’ll be salivating over her beautiful feed.  Thank you so very much for being a part of The Fab 40s this month!!!

And here’s me.

In my one and only non black non red non purple non pink non green blazer.  I really adore this one for its polka dotted lining which makes for such an interesting accent when I roll up the cuffs.  I recall throwing things aside and creating piles of fabric on the floor, in search of the most brightly printed top I could possibly find in my wardrobe, which is the bright red and yellow print floral blouse you see here.  Throw in some denim cutoffs and some seriously cool plaid booties, and I was ready to be a walking pack of Skittles.

Yellow Knit Blazer (thrifted) | Top (Zara) | Denim Cutoff Shorts (H&M) | Yellow, Navy & Orange Plaid Booties (c/o Forever21) | Crossbody Bag (Botkier) | Sunnies (Poshmark)

How about you?

Which colour triggers which emotion in you?

If any?

 

Love, Sheela

p/s photos by Sheri Abdul

I link up here.

A Velvet Suit For Play & Other Things

Hello there, friends.

I’m so glad you’ve returned.

 

Today’s post is going to be a short one, because I’m headed off to Dallas for a wedding and to see my boo (happy face, happy heart).  But I wanted to talk about something which has been bothering me for a while now.

I know quite a few of you take your own photos, and an equally large number, hire photographers to do the job, myself belonging to that latter category.  And for those in the same camp as me, I want to know your thoughts about working with the same photographer, consistently and continuously.

H O W    D O    Y O U    F E E L   A B O U T   T H A T ?

On one hand, it’s so much easier when you keep working with the same person.

You learn each other’s quirks, what sort of poses and movements work (or more importantly, do not), and over time, a sense of ease sets in, shoots are fast, concise and efficient.

Just like any relationship, there is comfort in the familiar.

And as with any relationship, it also begins to get harder separating work from personal things.

Very hard.

On the other hand, working with someone new (or several someones, for that matter) can be both a trial as well as an exciting process.

Even as you need to learn, all over again, what makes them tick, the manner in which they shoot, shutter speeds (which dictates how fast you change poses), their individual strong points (some excel in close-ups and portraiture whilst others are far better at full body and/or artistic/editorial imagery), there is much to be said about not sticking to one same shutterbug.

Least of all the complications that arise when your relationship evolves from work to friend.

For reals.

It’s something I personally (and very recently) experienced.

An abrupt change in photographers due to (seemingly unknown) reasons.

In other words, my regular photographer and I became friends (as we’d been shooting together for two years), and one day, out of the blue, we were no longer friends, and I found myself without a lensman.

And it’s a good thing.  A blessing in disguise.  I am now working with several photographers, each with wildly different styles yet all completely in line with my brand aesthetics, my style.  I am now able to explore new things (be it poses or backdrops or vibes) and I’m really loving where things are headed.  Still I am curious.  Would you work with different people?  Would you prefer to stick to one?  How would you keep things professional when it’s that very relationship status that makes a longterm “familiarity” between you and him/her?

Onto happier things, I am exhilarated to announce a super duper collaboration with my fierce fabulous sisters, Jennie (you know her from The Fab 40s) as well as Debbie (you’ve seen her in Project Sister Act when we profiled the SWT).  Remember last Friday (oh my god, has it been a week already?) when we collectively parading the colour purple, the paisley print, and the all powerful pant suit for day?  Well, today, more fun times as we showcase that SAME suit, for PLAY.  Come see.

Jennie (a pocketful of polka dots)

Remember how she was the catalyst for this project?  Look at her now.  All sharp and sassy and grunge!!  I never thought I would ever EVER use that word in relation to Jennie and her outfits, if I am to be completely honest GRIN but from the artfully tousled hair to the dramatic jewellery to the sequinned top and shoes-that-I-am-positively-dying-for, this outfit is SO hardcore play that I can’t even handle it.

Debbie (fashion fairy dust)

I repeat, rockstar-on-vacation look.  Seriously, yo.  Who else would’ve dreamed of putting sneakers into the equation when creating an outfit based on PLAY?  Look at how effortless Debbie’s outfit is.  Note the nonchalantly unzipped pant cuffs.  That addition of an easy, breezy blue button-down.  And pay extra special attention to Ms Debbie Harry right there, the perfect finishing touch to a very I-just-got-out-of-bed-and-I’m-already-slayin’-it look.

And Sheela makes three.  Nip slip utterly unintended but is now immortalised as part of my rendition of pant suit for PLAY, complete with metal studded choker and KISS-esque boots.  In my mind, nothing says PLAY quite like leather and hardware.

On top of all this magical wondrousness of our paisley partnership, as part of today’s special feature, I’m also immensely happy to co-host Fabulous Friday, Jennie’s weekly Link-Up thingamajig. I doubt it’s any secret just how much I adore Jennie, and the way she dresses.  And how her outfits are always the perfect blends of femininity with bohemian and/or preppy, with touches of edge.  I mean, I’ve never tried to hide my admiration for her sartorial choices.  If you’ve never before been, I highly recommend that you mouse over to Jennie’s blog right this moment.  It’s called A Pocketful Of Polka Dots (like how positively charming is that), and trust me when I say you shan’t regret it.

I got to pick a fave from last Friday’s Link-Up Party, and that prize goes to Ms Chanda.  I absolutely adore the in-your-face statement of her tee.  Most of all, I am absolutely in love with how bold and confident her entire outfit is yet it’s such a simple combo of white tee, well-cut pants and dramatic turban.  Of course it helps when one has sass and fierceness in spades!!

And that’s it.  For now.   But before you go, don’t you forget to link-up.  And don’t forget to tell me your thoughts on working relationships.

 

 

KISSES!!!

Love, Sheela

p/s photos by Sheri Abdul

I link up here.

A Velvet Suit & A Peek Into My Life 4

Peekaboo, again, world.

I’ve missed you ever so much.

 

Oh my goodness.  How long has it been?  Almost a full month since my last post.  Good lord.  I have been completely drowning under an ocean of work commitments, and finding myself in the pernicious position of needing to choose between sleep or blog when the sun goes down, and my cellphone stops ringing.  Or lighting up with text messages.  Thus far, clearly, I’ve chosen to try and catch some rest.  At the detriment of my writing, clearly.

Although sleep hasn’t been particularly affectionate either, opting to abandon me as I became (even closer) bosom buddies with insomnia.  Fact: I’ve been plagued by the inability to sleep since 12, 13 years old but it’s become much worse with age.  Back then, I could grapple and get around 5 to 6 hours of sleeps most nights.  These days, it’s a vicious cycle.  I don’t sleep a wink for 3 to 4 nights (as in zero sleep) then pass out for the next 2, perhaps 3 nights, then rewind, replay.

I T ' S    B E E N    R O U G H

One other thing I’ve noticed is that the longer I put off writing, the harder it became to get back into the swing of things.  SO SO SO I need to get my shit together, girlfriends!!!

Alright, what exciting and fabulous things have been happening in my life since that last post?  Well, the man and I attended an expo in Vegas earlier this month.  Now now, that truly wasn’t quite as fun and glamorous as it sounds but all things said and done, we had a nice time together.  We really did.

The expo began on Monday so we decided to fly in the Friday evening before, to get a weekend of pure R&R and play tourist.  First thing on the list?  Dinner at Buddy V’s Ristorante (yup, that Buddy).  It was alright.  Not too bad.  Nothing extraordinary, nothing too spectacular, it was decent food.  The ambience was much too noisey for us but the decor was adorable.  Photos of him and his children and his sisters and their families and his mother dotted the walls.  The dessert menu was a simple stack of laminated photos showing how the Cake Boss came to be, Buddy Senior, and special family festivities.  Adorable. To me, that was the standout item of the evening, of that entire place.

The next day, we walked the strip.  We walked, and we walked, and we walked.  For six straight hours.  My feet, they were not happy with me.  My heart, it was not happy with the husband because he proposed a “short walk“.  Angry face.  Anyway, we passed out for a nap thereafter, and woke up just in time to watch Zumanity by Cirque de Soleil.  Now that was an interesting show AHEM we had a couch seat right beside the stage so everything was in full view, and up close.  Really, truly up close.  Every freckle.  Every bead of sweat.  Every micro strand of body hair.

On Sunday, we began the day with an AH-MAZING buffet at The Buffet @The Wynn.  Imagine if the rainbow world of Willy Wonka had a baby with Alice’s Wonderland, and you’d be just about one colourful ball away from describing this place.  It was beyond being insta-worthy, I swear.  Two hours of dining and oohing and aahing promptly ensued, and if you follow me on Instagram (you really should 😛 I’m @sheelagoh), you’d probably have caught the numerous photos as well as videos I took. Oh oh oh and there’s an equally charming, flower-embellished carousel in the lobby to further entice and beguile you.

Tummies appropriately stuffed, we headed towards the MGM for my CSI: The Experience (claps hands ever so happily).

Granted it wasn’t precisely rocket science but we had loads of fun solving two crimes.  There was evidence collection, and mini labs (comparing tyre thread marks, studying bullet rifling, DNA matching, amongst others), and, at the end, we took photos, and even graduated with diplomas!!!  For any crime show buff, you cannot not come here.

That night, another show.  A smidge less RA this time around.  Blue Man Group at the Luxor.  It was very entertaining.  The music was fabulous, a lot of acoustics and percussions.  But fair warning to anyone intending to watch this, DO NOT BE LATE.  They (literally) shine the spotlight on you if you show up late.  Spotlight.  Music.  Spotlight.  Sirens.  Poor-couple-that-sat-three-rows-behind-us-who-came-in-20-minutes-after-the-show-began.  I doubt they will ever EVER be late for anything like this EVER again.

Next morning, we had a photo shoot with Sofia (who flew in to Vegas especially for us, thank you!!) right along the strip, and that was very cool.  It was a shoot both for the blog as well as my daytime job, and I have to say I was very tickled at the sight of the man attempting to strut casually even as the camera shutter was furiously clicking away!!!  I’ll give it to him though, my man, he did a fine job.  A damn fine job.

Then the fun officially stopped because the expo officially started GRIN

And then we came home.

And now to the actual business of the day, I am super duper pleased to announce a super duper collaboration with my fierce fabulous sisters, Jennie (you know her from The Fab 40s) as well as Debbie (you’ve seen her in Project Sister Act when we profiled the SWT).  We are collectively parading the colour purple, the paisley print, and the all powerful pant suit.  The one and the same purple paisley pant suit.  In plush velvet no less.  Come see our interpretation of day looks.

Jennie (a pocketful of polka dots)

She was the catalyst for this project, truth be told.  Some of you may have seen her don this exquisite outfit in a previous Fab 40s post, and that was so gorgeous to behold that both Debbie and I immediately got on board, and bought ourselves a suit each.  And tadah, the collaboration was born.  How crisp and professional and empowered does Jennie look, I ask you?  Take note of that exquisite fishnet peeking out from under her leg cuffs, and that brooch.

Debbie (fashion fairy dust)

Jennie provided the muse, Debbie came up with the idea of us three coming together for this project so credit has to absolutely go to this awesome woman.  And never does she disappoint in terms of upping up the rockstar-on-vacation look.  I mean, look stare long and hard at her.  So chill and sleek and uber cool complete with choker and flaming hair.  Beautifully polished even as she exudes that I-just-threw-this-thing-together-in-5-seconds-flat vibe.

And Sheela makes three.  Is it not fairly interesting to note how my outfit is, in essence, a combination of Jennie’s and Debbie’s?  The white button-down?  Those in-your-face-fuchsia ankle booties?  How much more alike can great minds be?? 😛

On top of all this magical wondrousness of our paisley partnership, as part of today’s special feature, I’m also immensely happy to co-host Fabulous Friday, Jennie’s weekly Link-Up thingamajig. I doubt it’s any secret just how much I adore Jennie, and the way she dresses.  And how her outfits are always the perfect blends of femininity with bohemian and/or preppy, with touches of edge.  I mean, I’ve never tried to hide my admiration for her sartorial choices.  If you’ve never before been, I highly recommend that you mouse over to Jennie’s blog right this moment.  It’s called A Pocketful Of Polka Dots (like how positively charming is that), and trust me when I say you shan’t regret it.

An InLinkz Link-up

By the by, I was also asked to pick my fave from last Friday’s Link-Up Party, and that prize goes to Ashley of Le Stylo Rouge.  Does she not look FANTABULOUS?  A woman after my own heart, with the leather and the sequins and the headpiece and that dark lipstick.  Oooh girl.

Le Stylo Rouge

And that’s it.  For now.   But before you go, don’t you forget to link-up.

An InLinkz Link-up

 

KISSES!!!

 

Love, Sheela

p/s photos by Sheri Abdul

I link up here.

(How) The Fab 40 Ladies Stay Warm & Stylish

My New York moment.

Immortalised and multiplied.

 

Isn’t it amazing how far one can come, and without even realising it?

For those who are new to Sheela’s world, when I first began writing on this blog, my images were taken by my daughter, Eve, with my iPhone, and lord knows she did her level best but they were very different from the glossy numbers which currently dot the cyber pages of Sheela Writes.  Glossy, colourful photos of yours truly strutting and pouting (and occasionally also guffawing her head off), walking to the beat of my own drum on the streets of New York City.

A far cry indeed, from those hasty shots snapped in between her finishing up homework and my preparing dinner, in (the comfort and safety of) my (oh so private) backyard.  My poor baby, a tough time I did give her.

I    L O V E    Y O U,    B O O ! ! !

So imagine how tickled pink I am, to present to you today, our second installment of The Fab 40s featuring me (and mah ladies), clad in pastel pink and black, parading in a perfectly nonchalant fashion along 8th Avenue, just adjacent to Times Square, with nary a care in the world.

A pastel pink and black ensemble in my current go-to combination of big, fuzzy, statement coat paired with something monochromatic underneath in a supremely contrasting colour, finished off with kickass boots.

Keeps me warm.  And toasty.  And as snug as a bug in a rug.

Whilst looking stylish.

And that is the theme for this month’s rendition of The Fab 40s.

Looking stylish and staying warm during this erratic weather.

Which isn’t quite as simple as one might think.  I know I’ve personally had quite the challenge adapting to the whims and fancies of our crazy unpredictable Houston weather.  Why, we’ve had four snowfalls in the past two months alone, imagine that!!!  While over in the North Pole, it’s 40 degrees warmer now than the same time a year ago.

Thankfully, when Ann came up with this theme, I was in New York where (as we know) it’s consistently damn cold all day long, all Winter long.  In fact, when I was there, it got no warmer than -2 Celsius for the most part so dressing for this month’s theme was easier for me.

Phew.

Oh what fun we had with this one.

By the by, I’m laughing so hard because we’d been trying so hard to get nice, clean shots but there was always one photo bomber after another after another and yet another.  Finally, I just threw my arms up in resignation, and took a more casual approach.

Anyway, we all adopted the, “more is more” route.

A N D    W E N T   T O   T O W N

Join me now in gushing over my fellow Fab 40 females, and their individual interpretations of what it means to be dressed stylishly even as they’re staying nice and warm.

Ann, Kremb de la Kremb

Ann | Kremb de la Kremb

She looks like that colour-obssessed lady who makes wearing rainbow shades just look so damn cool.  What an amazing juxtaposition of textures and prints, and that backdrop is so super perfect too.  I’d say Ann’s look isn’t just stylish and warm, it’s also fun!!

Mary, Curly Byrdie Chirps

How uber cool does Mary look in this look that screams, “I just threw this together”??  Infinitely casual with that denim jumpsuit then we have the fur stole as well as opulent blazer adding immeasurable dollops of street cool.  And leather gloves for extra ooomph.

Suzy, Suzy Turner

Suzy | Suzy Turner

Yes, we voted unanimously to have Suzy as a permanent member of the Fab 40s for too many reasons to delve into but mainly because she’s just that cool. I’m a HUGE fan of how she’s incorporated bright, brilliant colours into her outfit.

Jennie, A Pocketful Of Polka Dots

Jennie | A Pocketful of Polka Dots

I look at Jennie and I instantly think jetsetter.  I mean, that fur coat.  And those leggings.  And them sunnies.  Those delicate touches of gilded gold.  How her quilted bag instantly adds plush.  There’s a beautiful luxe vibe to the entire outfit that is very appealing.

Our guest blogger this month is none other than the shoot-straight-from-the-hip Ashley from Fancy Stuff & Pretty Things.  I’m quite impressed with how someone could make low heels (read: less than 3″) look that good.  It helps that she’s the complete opposite of being vertically challenged as I am, of course, but I do feel it requires a certain sense of savoir faire to make Mary Janes, flats, and anything with a chunky heel appear sophisticated and chic.

Ashley | Fancy Stuff & Pretty Things

I’m fully appreciating how Ashley went for a business look with no fur nor oversized coat in sight.  Love love love.

And, of course, there’s me.

Suddenly realising that I’m wearing the very same pair of boots from last month’s theme. Oy.

Blush Faux Fur Jacket (c/o Forever21) | Violet Velvet Corset Boots (c/o ShoeDazzle) | Purple Eelskin Crossbody & Sweater (Vintage) | Velvet Shorts (H&M)

 

How do you stay warm AND stylish??

Are you the oversized jacket sort?

Or not?

 

Love, Sheela

 

p/s my photos are by Sofia Touassa

I link up here.