All posts filed under: ootd

Shall We Be Friends | Sheela Writes

Shall We Be Friends?

I want to be your friend Do you want to be my friend too?   I’m not quite sure how to begin this post.  Wait, actually, I do.  I want to preface things by saying that my husband was is fully aware (and supportive) of every app and website I’ve joined, in my pursuit of finding myself a friend.  Or three.  And that when I first embarked upon this journey, mah boo thought I was stepping out on my man.  Shaking my head.  Alright, moving on. So yes.  Building upon my earlier post, for the last 6 to 8 weeks, I’ve been trying to make friends.  And in this day and age, that basically translates into seeking people out online, and introducing oneself electronically, all in the hopes of “connecting”.  An entirely new concept for me.  Something I’ve never done before because, you know, I’m in my 40s and I’m old school, and I’ve never been particularly fond of people to begin with.  Let me regale you with what I’ve been doing to achieve all …

I Friend You | Sheela Writes

I Friend You

I don’t like socialising very much You see, I’m not a people person at all   Even from an early age (as in 5 years old), I was never very comfortable around people.  It mattered not one iota if they were older or if they were my peers, I’ve always only felt awkward.  An oddity on display that was sized up, assessed, and found wanting at rapid fire speed.  Note, of course, that much of this existed solely in my head, and that the people in my vicinity were, in truth, normal and nice, and completely sans nefarious intentions. Naturally, I gravitated towards the world wide web when it became the zeitgeist of friend-making.  I mean, that’s how the man and I first met, online. No muss, no fuss. Z E R O H A S S L E You never had to meet in person (especially if they’re on the opposite end of the world, which makes for very interesting cultural comparisons), and when the cravings for solo time hit, you only had to …

Learning From Younger Bloggers

We can learn, you know. Learn from the PYT set, learn a lot.   Yes, I’m talking about them pretty young things who are half my age.  Now when I call you competitive here, I don’t mean malicious or vicious or mean (I love you, ladies!!!).  Quite the contrary, actually.  And it’s certainly not a sweeping statement meant to stereotype all females belonging to that age group.  To be clear, this post is specifically inspired by a group of young women I recently met in Dallas.  By their mannerisms and how they conducted themselves.  Indeed, it was my reaction to seeing how they behaved that spawned what you’re reading now. Melodramatic much, you say?  Perhaps. It was just the air with which they carried themselves. VERY AGGRESSIVE, VERY BOLD Each one determined to own their five seconds of fame. To be the most vocal (I’m referencing volume of speech, not quality thereof).  The most flamboyant peacock in the room.  I was easily the oldest in the summit (I accept this as the new norm) but …

Self-Examination

Looking inward. Reassessing ourselves.   Now, self-examination does not necessarily lead to life balance or acceptance from others, I’ve found.  It does, however, lead to liberation and authenticity.  I say this with conviction because I’ve invested in a lot of self-examination, of late.  A lot. Without self-examination, I’ve noticed that these things tend to happen:- –  I seek comfort over greatness –  I choose safety over risk –  I embrace reassurance over authenticity –  I prefer the predictable over the unknown –  and I opt to take the well worn path over forging my own Self-examination is a process of re-framing and refining how we see ourselves and the world.  It is a deep scrutiny of our beliefs, motives, relationships, triggers, wounds, purpose, feelings, thoughts, and actions. And in the process, often we uncover something has to change so we can feel a greater sense of alignment between the life we are living and the life our soul wants to be living. It might be the desire to change a relationship, a career or a …

5 Things You Don’t Know About Me

For the most part, I’m what you’d call an open book.   What you see is what you get with me.  Ish.  However, there are a few skeletons in my closet that I thought may be fun interesting to share with you today.  Come clean, you know, be real and all that. Some are hilarious, some not so much. HERE WE GO (1) I ran away from home at 16.  Yes, I did.  In my defense, it wasn’t planned.  It was my  birthday, and my then boyfriend wanted to take me out to dinner, something which my parents (well, more so my Dad) really didn’t like.  My Dad hated all my boyfriends with a passion, my Mum tolerated them.  Barely.  Anyway, in the hours leading up to when Jackie picked me up, we were yelling and fighting, mostly over the fact that he was 22 to my 16.  Statutory rape isn’t all that commonly thought of in Asia when I was growing up.  That doesn’t make it right, believe you me, I know, it’s merely …

Sheela | Sheela Writes

What Glam Means To Me

Being all chichi. And dressed up to the nines.   Can I tell you a secret? I hate the dressing up formally.  I really do. Whenever the dresscode reads as Black Tie or Formal, I go just a lighter shade of pale.  And inwardly, I cringe.  Oh alright, on the outside as well.  There’s something about the notion of being all dolled up that really bothers me.  I haven’t quite put a finger on it but I suspect it has to do with the stereotypical perception of Formal = the colour Black. You all know how much I loathe predictability. Silver Grey Velvet Duster  (Boohoo) | Lace Bra (Poshmark) | Gym Tank (worn inside out, Firedaughter Clothing @ Etsy) | Black Capris (Herban Devi @ Etsy) | Fishnets (Halloween Spirit Store) | Swarovski Embellished Booties (Bakers) | Spiked Clutch (Betsey Johnson, thrifted) | Sunnies (Poshmark) | Lipstick (22 @ Kylie Cosmetics) THE WORD “PREDICTABLE” OUGHT TO BE BANNED FROM THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE When I think Black Tie (or Formal), my mind immediately conjures up a …

Oui, Mademoiselle

French Chic. What does that even mean?   I’ll be the first to admit to not quite grasping the entire concept of, “French Chic“.  And since I’m on that confessional train, let me also admit to neither being a fan thereof nor even believing the vibe actually exists. As you all well know, I subscribe to the maxim of more is more.  Always have.  And from what I’ve gleaned of how the French dress today, the look is (often) clean and spare.  Minimal fuss.  Pared down with the occasional statement clutch or heel.  Chignons (or, at the very least, sleek hair).  Delicate jewellery.  Lipsticks are either very nude or very bold red.  And the colour black.  A lot of black. French style is all about the nuances.  Subtlety.  Details. Embellished Leather Jacket  (Pinko, purchased in Italy) | Striped Top & Beret (Forever21) | Black Capris with Attached Miniskirt (Herban Devi @ Etsy) | Striped Heels (Shoe Ocean) | Red Cuff (Kate Spade, thrifted) | Sunnies (Poshmark) | Lipstick (22 @ Kylie Cosmetics) MY PERSONAL STYLE …

Sheela | Sheela Writes

Athleisure All Around

It’s been a while, I know. Almost precisely two months, in fact.   Hello everyone!!  Sporadic would be an understatement to describe my presence here on the blog for the past three months.  Summer proved to be immensely challenging when it came to keeping up with posting.  At least, it was for me.  I know many of my peers demonstrate enviable organisational skills and foresight in the area of planning-ahead-when-vacation-comes but not I.  Clearly. Firstly, we were in Singapore and Malaysia from 8th June all the way to 13th July.  Spending time with family and ex-family (is that even a valid concept?  When a couple divorces, does that mean they divorce the in-laws as well?  And do the in-laws become out-laws?). CAN YOU TELL I’M A LITTLE OFF KILTER? Knit & Leather Jacket  (purchased in Italy) | Sports Bra (Target) | Black & Olive Green Capris (Herban Devi @ Etsy) | Embroidered Suede Trainers (Nike) | Black Crossover Bag (Prada, thrifted) | Sunnies (Poshmark) | Lipstick (22 @ Kylie Cosmetics) In Asia, socialising with the …

Explosive Moments

This will self destruct in 3 seconds. 3-2-1 BOOOOOOM!!!!!! (just kidding, ish)   We’ve all been guilty of one or ten self destructive acts in our lifetimes, haven’t we? I was just talking about it the other day, in one of my conversations with Eve about processing and accepting self love.  And decided I wanted to write a list of my Top 10 Acts of Self Destruction.  To see which ranked the highest.  How it happened.  What I could possibly have done differently. Here we go.  The single most self destructive thing I’ve ever done to myself was to believe in someone else’s opinion of me. I ALLOWED MYSELF TO PUT STOCK INTO SOMEONE ELSE’S PERCEPTION OF ME I gave someone else permission to rule, manage and control my life, and the way I wanted to live.  I handed over my free will to someone else, and basically told them it was alright to let their perspective, their story, their limitations impose upon who I am. Their vision took priority over mine. I offered up …

Old Habits

So, I’m in Singapore at the moment. The sunny island of Singapore.   This is where, a long time ago, I lived, worked, got married and had a baby.  It’s where I had Eve.  Shortly after she was born, my marriage with Eve’s father deteriorated and we divorced.  I then moved to the States, to begin a new life with my husband, Pierluigi, and his two boys. It’s been 12 years since I set foot here. I have a complicated relationship with this place.  It’s a mix of loathing and appreciation (more on this in a subsequent post, and how it’s gone a long way towards creating the woman that I am today). If you’ve read my rant on Instagram, you’d understand part of the hate.  Women such as myself who are independent, free-spirited, intelligent, and articulate (in other words, not quite the traditional Asian female) are disliked, distrusted, unaccepted.  And heaven help us should we earn more than our men. For the entire decade I was there, I was made fun of (for my …