All posts tagged: empowerment

The Fab 40s Say Yeehaw, Y’All

Influencing the Influencer. What does that even mean?   Today, I want to talk about who influences the influencers. And if those influences we’re letting in are positive. Or not. Such a fabulously fascinating topic.  Here we are, going on about how much we care for our readers (some of whom we call friends) and, consequently, the due diligence we conduct upon every product and service showcased on our social media platforms.  And yet we ourselves often neglect to housekeep what (or who) influences us in turn. A U D I T W H O A N D W H A T S P E A K S T O U S What we allow into our ears.  Into our minds and hearts and spirits.  Choosing who (or what) has the authority to capture our attention and affect it.  Being selective about the people or the things which have the power to make us feel relevant. Of course, the fact that many most of us are surrounded by social media and the powerful imagery it …

The Fab 40s Put On Plaid

It’s not just black and white. It’s practically everything in between.   I don’t recall what led to it precisely but the other day, someone asked whether I viewed the world in black and white.  What an immensely interesting question.  Particularly given the timing, and current state of things.  Without rehashing what’s been playing out in my life of late (you can read about it here and here), it’s safe to say that change has been dominating the scene.  Rather like a zephyr sweeping across the horizon, creating patterns in the landscape, swiftly moving from side to side, and everything in between. And that is why my response was that I’ve gone from viewing the world in greyscale (with certain moments in subtle shades, like a two-colour process) to now experiencing everything in full technicolour wonder. I T’ S E X H I L A R A T I N G And it’s been in the simplest of things too. Consuming garlic, for one.  Or working out at the oddest of hours whether it’s because …

The Fab 40s Are All Laced-Up

Racy, lacy, dicey. Hey, that even rhymed.   As a few of you already know, a new chapter in my life has begun. Some time ago, I ended my 16 year relationship with Pierluigi.  There was no infidelity.  No, nothing of the sort.  I walked away after almost two decades together because I had lost myself.  I had spent so much time being mother, wife, colleague that Sheela had completely disappeared.  I had no purpose.  I felt absorbed.  Missing.  Lacking.  Gone. I H A D B E C O M E I N V I S I B L E Lest anyone casts that first stone, let me preface it by saying that I have absolutely no regrets in taking on those three roles.  I love Eve more than life itself, and I wanted to be the sort of parent who was always there.  Always present in as many ways as possible.  Her needs came before mine, and they always will. Being a wife to Pierluigi was an all-consuming affair, and I was alright with …

The Fab 40s In Their Cutoffs

Oh yes, we absolutely can. Wear shorts, that is.   I begin my post with a sense of utter outrage. In the process of conducting due diligence and research to write this, I came across multitudes of so-called style experts dishing out the most ridiculous of counsel to women on whether cutoffs (or the entire spectrum of shorts, for that matter) were age-appropriate. If it weren’t for the fact that I’d just taken my Bystolic (and that I’m physically drained from a very exhausting weekend of work + play, with the last vestiges of jet lag thrown in for good measure), I suspect I’d have suffered a fit right then and there.  Or, at the very least, hurled verbal abuses at said culprits vis-à-vis the sanctity of my home office which would, in truth, serve no higher purpose save to leave me with the cringey task of wiping smatterings of spit from my laptop screen. O U T R A G E D , I T E L L Y O U First of all, …

The Fab 40s Make A Statement

Creating an impression. One that hits home.   I doubt I’d be distorting facts when I put forth that we’ve all done something to send a message at least once in our lives, if not countless times. Making a statement could be as rudimentary as wearing black lipstick to rebel against the powers that be, or something far more significant, more meaningful such as taking a stand against Trump.  Joining the #MeToo movement.  Going public with your sexual orientation.  Articulating an opinion about a topic near and dear to you.  Participating in a rally. In one way or another, we all make statements.  And, naturally, the way we dress is perhaps the most eloquent, versatile and personal weapon in our arsenal to send a message.  Fashion has the innate ability to influence politics, culture, life, and that is not an exaggerated claim. F A S H I O N I S A W E A P O N We outfit ourselves to match our views and beliefs about anything and everything pertinent, be it consciously …

The Fab 40s & Their Fairy Tale Inspirations

Wonder. Awe. Magic. Stories of enchantment and spells.   As you all know, I love to write.  What you may not know is where that love stems from.  And that is the literary diet upon which I was raised.  It fed feeds my soul.  My mother introduced me to wordsmith Enid Blyton from the moment we could read.  And then further augmented the nourishment of my creative side with C S Lewis, Tolkien, Bronte, Eyre, Agatha Christie, you get the general idea.  Over the years, my library has expanded to include murder, crime and fantasy novels but I’ve never once deviated from my original love obsession with the beguiling and captivating world of fairy tales and wonderment and magic. O N C E U P O N A T I M E Those four words. Whenever I see them, read them, my heart does a little flutter. I slip away into my secret place, where castles go high into the sky. Where woods are dark and mysterious, and where the air is rife with enchantment …

Receiving Compliments

Err. Emm. Errr. Why can’t we accept compliments?   I’ve come to realise something recently.  Well, no, actually, it’s been pointed out to me by my husband in the past, and rather frequently too, but I simply never quite took stock of it.  Sorry, my love, for not listening to you, but you’re always so biased, in my favour, I don’t know when to believe what you say (I love you!!) So yes, that one thing I’ve developed awareness of?  That women are, basically, terrible when it comes to accepting compliments, and yes, I’m part of that statistic.  And this isn’t even a new phenomenon upon which we can blame, oh I don’t know, the current sexist administration?  I digress.  It would seem that the vast majority of my species feels uncomfortable in the face of unsolicited kudos.  We stutter and get all awkward, guilty even (dare I say).  And shuffle most uncomfortably towards the guaranteed death of said conversation. W H Y I S T H A T ? To determine if this was …

Making A Choice

Choosing is nerve-wracking. Choosing is also really, really good.   You get to choose who you are. There will be times in life when others try to tell you who you are. Don’t listen. There will be times in life when others try to reduce you to a label, adjective, or judgment. Don’t acquiesce. There will be times when others will tell you to focus on consumption and competition. Don’t look. Our social, cultural, economic, religious, political systems will try to stuff your uniquely shaped soul into a boring box. Resist the temptation to conform and climb in. RESIST WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT You will be told there’s one way to be and one way to do. Don’t buy into that bullshit. You are a multifaceted, dynamic, ever-changing, complex, precious soul inside a human body. You can spend a lifetime trying to deprogramme, and unlearn these lies. It’s easy to feel lost in a mountain of falsehoods, searching for the shards of truth you once knew, and now have to claw your way to rediscovering.  …